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Fatwa CenterHis wife suspects him and behaves badly towards him
Question
Salam, I have been married for four months now and we have been having problems. When we got engaged it turned out that my wife did not want to see me. I did not know this until 2 months of our marriage. On the day of the wedding she would not let me get near her. This went on for three days so I talked with my family who told me to talk to her parents. Once her family talked to her she got mad and then allowed me to get near her. I thought everything would be better instead she became bossy and if she did not get what she wanted she would give me an attitude. When we got to the states I told her that I did not want her. I could not see her or hear her voice. It was like I was seeing a devil in front of me. When we got home I started to leave her at my parents house and go hang out with my friends. May allah forgive me I started to see another girl as well. I did nothing with her but go places. My family found out and told me that what I was doing was wrong. I asked my wife who said that she accepted my forgiveness. The problem was that even though she forgave she would keep trying to accuse me that I am seeing other girls. Yes I made a mistake but am asking allah for forgiveness. There have been times to that when we would get in fights she would mention things that are wild. One was that if I divorce her that she will not leave until she gets her degree and I pay for it, and another time was that she wanted a divorce but will not leave until she gets the gold, muta3hir, and a ticket to go home. After all this I told her that I do not want to try anymore and that I will give her what she wants.When her family heard they told her to be quiet and sit. From this she began to talk to my family and uncles tellng them that she has been trying and I wasnt. She also began to tell horrible story lies to have everyone against me. Every family member began to come and give me a lecture even though my wife herself does not. I want to divorce her but my family believes her.
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
If a man conducts a marriage contract with a woman, then she becomes his wife, and if he gave her her immediate dowry, she is obligated to submit herself to him, and if he calls her to bed, she is obligated to respond. Refusing to answer his call to bed is considered an act of disobedience to her husband, and raising her voice over him is also an act of disobedience. For more benefit on the steps to follow in order to treat a disobedient wife, please refer to Fatwa 85402.
However, you are obligated to repent to Allaah for establishing an illicit relationship with another woman; for more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 87903.
On the other hand, it is not permissible for your wife to accuse you of establishing affectionate relationships with girls without evidence after you have repented, but we advise you to stay away from places of suspicion as this may make you suspicious.
Moreover, your wife is not permitted to ask you for divorce without a sound reason because this is forbidden as we clarified in Fatwa 88408. If we presume that divorce will take place, then the rights of a divorced wife are already clarified in Fatwa 83934, among which is her alimony.
As regards the golden ornaments, if they are part of the dowry, then they take the ruling of dowry, and if you had gifted them to her, then they become her own property, but if you had lent them to her in order to beautify herself to you, then they belong to you.
Finally, we advise you not to hasten to divorce your wife and you should try to reconcile with her, and you should appoint some rational people from your family and hers to reconcile between you. If reconciliation takes place, this is what is required, and if she insists on showing ill-conduct towards you, then divorce is better.
Allaah Knows best.
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