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Fatwa CenterHow to deal with a rebellious non-Muslim wife
Question
I am Iyas by name,married to a christian wife and our 1 year marriage anniversary is in a few days.However, I noticed this sudden change in my wife after marrying her and all her promises before the marriage seems to be a ploy to lure me into this marriage believing is the truth,though i love her.To shorten long stories,here are the problems am facing now.- she hardly obeys my orders- she always wants to the pace setter while i am the follower- I have told her bluntly that disrecting my parents either in their absence or presence is a RED LINE which she has crossed this and many more happening in my marriage but how i wish i could to an Islamic marriage expert so i explain better.Lastly, I live abroad and she lives in Africa and works in a bank.We always have issue about preparation of food because of the nature of her job which resulted into domestic violence because she said it was my duty to start the cookin while she comes to complete it.The matter escalated into further argument which resulted into physical abuse because of the higest level of provocation.Im thinking of quitting because i think its too early and no child.Pls advise.
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His Slave and Messenger.
You mentioned a number of misbehaviors on the part of your wife. If this is true, then every part of what you have mentioned is sufficient evidence of her recalcitrance (Nushooz). Please refer to Fatwa 85402 about the prescribed way to deal with a recalcitrant wife.
If you believe your wife will most likely not act rightly, then it is better for you to leave her, especially since you have no children yet, and divorce in that case is less serious than it would be after having children. Divorce may be the best solution for spouses when their marriage is intolerable and no other solution can be reached as explained in Fatwa 241252.
We would like to highlight the following points:
First, it is permissible to marry a woman from the People of the Book (Christian or Jew) as a rule if such a woman is chaste. However, some scholars held that it is disliked due to several considerations, some of which were underlined in Fataawa 84724 and 88451.
Second, the preferred scholarly opinion about the wife's duty to serve the husband is that it is decided according to the common practice of a given society. Please refer to Fatwa 86344.
Allaah Knows best.
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