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Fatwa CenterA father who does not provide for his children because they receive government aid
Question
My father never provided for his wife and children, we always lived off the government benefits, is this halal? He always gave his income to his parents and siblings even though they were never in need of it. Some scholars say that as long as we receive assistance from the government there is no sin on him, please clarify. I have another question: my sister is now looking to get married, and my parents have now divorced, and my mum has said that she will not be involving my father in the marriage proposals, so she will not let him be her wali (legal guardian) as my father has never done anything for us our whole life and does not love us, which is true. However, I realise that parents have significant rights, even if they are cruel to their children, so can my mother stop my father from being my sister's wali?
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ʻalayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.
The husband is obliged to provide for his wife, even if she is rich; please refer to fatwa 168551. As for the children, the father is obliged to support his children who have no wealth to spend thereof; however, if any of the children has (income or) wealth to provide for himself, then the father is not obliged to provide for him. Please refer to fatwa 292492. The question remains, 'When the children receive sufficient government benefits, does this waive their right to maintenance payable by the father or not?' The Hanafi Fiqh book, Al-Fataawa Al-Hindiyyah, reads:
“If the judge obliges the father to pay financial support for the children and he does not do so and the children live off people’s financial aid and the mother does not indebt herself to anyone to provide for them, then she is not entitled to demand the father to repay their maintenance later on in this case. If people’s financial aid suffices half of the children’s needs only, then the father is obliged to pay the other half. The same applies in case it becomes obligatory on him to provide for any of his womenfolk or relatives and they lived off people’s financial aid, they are not entitled to request the repayment of the maintenance that has been deemed obligatory on him, as advised in Fataawa Qaadhi Khaan (book)...”
Haashiyat Ibn ʻAbdeen in commentary on this judicial case, reads:
“In case the children live off people's financial aid that is sufficient for their needs and it became in their possession and ownership, then they are no longer in need of the maintenance payable by the father and their right to the maintenance in this case is waived. If they received financial aid covering half of their needs only, then the father’s obligation to pay that half is waived, and they are entitled to request the father to repay them the other half later on. By analogy, the same ruling applies to the case when a man becomes obliged to provide for any of his relatives; if they received financial aid from people sufficient to cover their needs, then they are not entitled to ask him to repay that maintenance money later on because the unpaid maintenance for the relatives does not become a due debt for which the person remains liable; rather, it is waived by the passage of its due time, unlike the obligatory maintenance of the wife.”
There is no doubt that it is impermissible for a father to neglect the rights of his children and wife over him, driving them to take aid from people or even ask others for money. ʻAbdullaah ibn ʻAmr 
narrated that the Prophet, sallallaahu ʻalayhi wa sallam, said, “It is sufficient sin for a man that he neglects to provide for his dependents.” [Abu Daawood]
If the father has fulfilled his financial obligations and duties towards his children, then he is entitled to spend on his relatives as he wishes and help his poor relatives or the like, even if he spends all his money on them; there is no harm in that.
It should be noted that the father is entitled to the guardianship over his daughters. Assuming that the father never offered his daughters anything throughout their lives and that he does not love them does not waive his right to act as their wali (legal guardian) in the marriage contract. He has the right to marry his daughters off, and the mother is not entitled to interfere and try denying him such a right. For further information, please refer to fatwa 265042.
As for the parents' rights over their children, the religious ruling in this regard is as you have mentioned in the question; the children are obliged to observe their parents’ rights over them, and such rights are not waived by the parents’ abuse or maltreatment, as we previously underlined in fataawa 84793 and 123760.
Allaah knows best.
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