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Fatwa CenterLying to parents about how suitor met their daughter
Question
Assalaamu alaykum. I met a girl through a website dedicated to teaching English. I am a fluent English speaker, and she needed help. After speaking a few times, it became apparent that there is a mutual attraction, and we decided to end communication unless I can speak with her family. I am new in Egypt, she is 17 years younger than me, and I am still in search of a stable employment and therefore cannot meet her parents without basic requirements. I am currently waiting on two job offers and will accept one of them, Allaah willing, and then contact her parents. The issue is: she informed me that her parents are very concerned about the internet and meeting people from it. She told me that I cannot let them know that we met through the internet nor I explain that there was an initial attraction. She prefers that I say that I somehow met her at her college or by other means and felt attracted. Is that allowed? Should I lie to her parents? My age and so on are against me, so I am trying to simplify matters. Please advise. Thank you.
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.
Lying is prohibited in Islam. There are many texts underlining the stern warnings against lying. Ibn Mas‘ood 
reported that the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said, "Beware of lying; lying leads to Fujoor (i.e. wickedness, evil-doing), and Fujoor leads to Hellfire. A man may keep on telling lies till he is recorded with Allaah as a liar." [Muslim]
Lying is only allowed as a legal concession in case of a dire necessity or need, and it should be done in the least way possible when there is no other lawful means available to accomplish a lawful objective. One of the lawful means available for the Muslim to avail himself of in such cases is resorting to indirect speech and Tawriyah, namely, to say something which has more than one meaning and intending a meaning different from what the listener is likely to understand. For further information, please, refer to fataawa 84728 and 88412.
You can ask reliable people who know this girl about her; if they say good things about her, then propose to her. If her father asks how you got to know his daughter, then you may say that it was through some of her acquaintances, meaning those whom you have asked about her, and this would be considered a kind of Tawriyah.
If your proposal is accepted, then praise be to Allaah; otherwise, cut all relations with her. It is impermissible for a Muslim to have relations with a non-Mahram (marriageable) woman out of wedlock, as was previously underlined in fatwa 81356. For more benefit, please refer to fatwa 86555.
Allaah knows best.
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