Assalaamu alaykum brother. My question is about charity. My husband is a very strict man, and I do not do anything without informing him or taking his permission. He gives zakah every year on his and my behalf. We send a small part of it to my native country, and the remaining he gives to his family. However, I would like to send charity to my country on behalf of my husband, myself, and my parents, who have passed away. I would like to give about 5 families rice or wheat and sugar or whatever I can on a monthly basis. When I just told him about charity, he got upset with me, saying that we already give every year. I did not give any further details and stopped the discussion because I know that he will not agree. My question is: can I give this charity without informing him of it, or is it haram for me to do anything that my husband does not like behind his back, even if it is charity? Off course, I will not use his money for this, I will use the money which my sons give me. Your reply will be very helpful. May Allah reward you.
All perfect praise be to Allah, the Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah and that Muhammad, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.
If the situation is as you mentioned, that you wish to give charity from the money that your sons gifted you, then there is no harm on you in doing so. Your husband has no right to prevent you from giving charity from this money, and you are not obliged to seek his permission in this regard. It is permissible for you to give charity without his knowledge.
It should be noted that the Muslim woman has her own independent financial personality; she is allowed to dispose of her wealth as she wishes within the limits of the Shariah, given the general indication of the verse: {And test the orphans (in their abilities) until they reach marriageable age. Then if you perceive in them sound judgment, release their property to them.} [Quran 4:6] A person who is mature enough to be entrusted with his own wealth is entitled to dispose of it freely without the permission of anyone. When a husband wrongfully prevents his wife from disposing of her own wealth freely as such, this is considered interference in a matter that does not concern him.
You said that your husband gives zakaah every year on his and your behalf. If you mean that he gives zakaah on his own wealth and also gives zakaah on your wealth on your behalf, then this is permissible on the condition that it is done with your consent. It is also possible that you mean that you give him your zakaah funds to distribute it on your behalf. A third possibility is that he dedicates the reward of this deed to you as well (i.e. he offers his zakaah and devotes the reward to himself and to you as well). Some scholars held that there is no objection to this; however, this was not the practice of the early Muslim generations; they did not share the rewards of their good deeds with others.
Allah knows best.
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