My husband has once said Thalaq three times and my sister heard him. Before this he threatens to divorce me many times. Later he called back and said he didn’t say Talaq, it was other words in Arabic. He speaks Arabic so I believed him. After that incident when we have big fights, he still mentions divorce but in English. The second time was he said it in English, but he was extremely angry, “I divorce you 10x even if Allah comes down u are divorced”, right away he apologized and said sorry he didn’t meant it. And we got back together. Third time was also he was very angry, “you are divorced” and he asked me if I heard it, and repeated again “you are divorced”. That also right away he called and he apologized said he didn’t mean it.
All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.
It is the word (statement) of the husband that counts regarding the divorce and the number of divorces. So, if the wife claims divorce, and the husband denies it, the word that counts is his, unless the wife is certain of the occurrence of three divorces. In that case, she cannot return to him, and she must separate from him through Khul' (a form of divorce initiated by the wife) and the like until her divorce becomes evident. Ibn Qudaamah said in Al-Mughni:
“If a woman claims that her husband divorced her, and he denies it, it is his word (statement) that counts because the default ruling is the continuity of the marital relationship and not divorce unless she has clear evidence for what she claims, and it is not accepted unless there are two just witnesses.”
Therefore, as long as the husband denies pronouncing the triple divorce, and there is no clear evidence in your favor, it is his statement that is considered.
Regarding his saying to you, “You are divorced,” it is a clear expression that results in divorce. If he says, “I divorced you ten times,” and he intends to emphasize it, then it is considered as three divorces according to the consensus of the scholars. Based on this, the matter requires asking the husband to clarify his words and intention. The correct approach is to present the issue to those whom you can consult among the scholars who are acknowledged for their knowledge and religious commitment in your country.
You should know that what your husband uttered for the second time along with divorce is inappropriate and disrespectful towards Allah the Almighty. He must repent to Allah the Almighty and be mindful of his words.
Allah knows best.
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