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Question
This is actually a comment on your Fatwa regarding Muslims with non-Muslim families and relatives. I am just a Muslim who knows only the basics of Islam and I hope to learn more. However I know that Islam asked us to conduct our arguments with " Hussna". I did not sense any consideration in your explanations to his family. Nor did you question the strength of his religion. Not only that but you told him that all would be thrown in hill fire. I am not questioning the ruling that you have made, but the way you have made it. You spoke of strength of an Imam, but he is not. You could have accomplished what you wanted in steps, but not from the start you can not at all see your family. As you are aware there are psychological factors that affect our decision making progress? And the way you explain the rulings to people will dramatically affect their lives forever. May God help us all to the straight Path.
Answer
Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds; and blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions.
It is forbidden to sit at a table where alcohol is being served. It is also forbidden to accept any invitation or attend any party where these sins (drinking alcohol) are committed regardless of the person who is invitingly whether he is a relative, a friend or otherwise.
Ahmad narrated from Jabir that the Prophet he said: "Whoever believes in Allah and The Last Day should not sit at a table where alcohol is served". It is unlawful to obey or be lenient to any person whomsoever in doing what Allah has forbidden. Al Bukhari and Muslim narrated that the Prophet said: "No obedience for evil deeds; obedience is required only in what is good".
Allah Says (interpretation of meaning): regarding how to keep company to non-Muslim parents (But if they (both) strive with you to make you join in worship with Me others that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not, but behave with them in the world kindly," [31:15].
We advise you not to befriend any non-Muslim. Your friends should all be people who help you in doing good and righteousness and avoiding bad and evil; these are found only among Muslims.
If you are compelled to sit particularly with your parents at a table where pork or alcohol are served, you should exhort them in good manners as much as possible. Bring to their notice that you do not feel comfortable in such gatherings since your religion impose on you to be far from such places. So, you should not sit with them frequently. Try to serve them in other permissible matters. Know that it is not as easy to be apart from one's parents as it is from other persons.
Your wife is right in refusing to accompany such people or go out with them on their picnics or trips as this means sitting with them and socializing with them while they are committing sins and while she can not prevent them from doing so.
Know also that the Muslim should be proud of his religion and his personality should be distinguished by Islamic characteristics everywhere and all the time. The Muslim should observe the Islamic rites whenever possible. Indeed, Islam is the true religion of Allah, The Owner of This world. So, whoever becomes a Muslim should be proud of it because he worships The Lord of lords, The Creator of the World, The Master of all, The One Who can never be defeated, The One Whose Rule is Final, The Almighty, The Great.
On the other hand, know that it is your parent's right and the right of any non-Muslim you know that you tell them about this great religion and the benefits of becoming Muslims. Let them know that Allah wants to forgive their sins, to admit them to Paradise and save them from His punishment (Hell-fire) on The Last Day. Whoever accepts this religion, he will have much good on the Last Day. If they refuse, you will not be held responsible for their fate before Allah on The Day of Judgment.
Allah knows best.
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