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Fatwa CenterWants to Marry a Girl after Committing Zina with Her for Years
Question
Indeed, this is my story: I knew a girl at University who is not from my country. At the time I was ignorant and unawake; this part of the world is full of satanic temptations, dating girls, having intercourse with them. I really regret it now! But with the last girl, it lasted 5 years. I envisage marrying her knowing that she is a Muslim and her family too. But, as I said, she is from a different country, and her family is rather middle-Muslim (her mother have just begun covering (only) her head and her father sometimes prays, sometimes not, her sisters aren't covered, etc. My father does not want me to marry her. He says "you'd rather chose someone with whom you and your family will have good relationships all the time, all life long. He prefers those who are like him (having the same origin, the same custom and tradition, wearing Hijab. in order to have an harmonious life, someone from the relatives) Her father too wants her to be with someone from their relatives, but I think both would "accept" if we really show them our determination. Also I know that I don't need my father's approval (even if I am not against marrying a cousin or such...) but I apprehend the future I would have then, facing problems and bad relations between my family and my in-laws, between my wife and my mother or sisters! I pray Allah to guide us all, Amin! Therefore it deeply troubles me. Please, advise me and tell me if you think that I should listen to my father (and to tell the girl to listen to hers) and opt for ease and tranquility, or should I marry this girl with all the troubles that it may include? Is it permissible for me to leave her while she expects me to be her husband? Personally, I am extremely skeptical regarding our possible union as a family.
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
First of all, you should make sincere repentance from Zina, regret what you had committed, ask forgiveness of Allah, and perform good deeds as much as possible.
In addition, exhort that girl to repent from her sins. Indeed, Allah forgives those who turn toward Him in repentance.
However, you are not permitted to marry her till you are sure that she has repented from Zina.
If she sincerely repents from Zina, follows the rulings of the Sharee’ah in her deeds and in her dress as well, and avoids mixing with men, then you may marry her, if you are pleased with her adherence to the Sharee’ah. Know that the basic criterion to marry a girl is her adherence to religion and having a good character. Any kind of negligence in them is not acceptable. There is no harm in taking into consideration other characteristics, such as her beauty, origin, etc. You may marry her only with the consent of her father. However, you should try your best to convince your father of this marriage. If he is not convinced then it is better for you to marry a girl who pleases your parents. Obeying one's parents is a form of worship as long as they do not order a sin. If you marry a girl without their consent you would not be considered a sinner or ungrateful to them as long as their rejection is not based on a sound Islamic reason, such as when the girl is not religious or does not wear Hijab, etc.
Allah knows best.
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