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Supporting Parents from Saving Household Money Given by Husband

Question

Can a housewife help her needy parents from the money she saves out of her monthly kitchen expenses from her husband without telling him? She thinks that he will make fun of her parents in distress? If she can't, how can a woman live in wealth while her parents are in agony?

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

If a husband assigned a sum of money for his wife to meet her expenses, we state that the wife has the right to do what she desires with this allotment.

Ibn Qudaamah  may  Allaah  have  mercy  upon  him said: “If a husband gives his wife her expense, she has the right to do what she likes with her money; i.e. to give as a charity, help, etc… unless this produces some harm to her, since such a harm will deprive the husband of his right to get pleasure from her.

As for the share of expense that is allotted to children and so on, the wife has no right to act freely with this portion; i.e. she should have her husband's guidance and permission while spending her children's share. If he gives her less than what she needs, then she can take her need exactly and kindly for the Hadeeth reported by Al-Bukhaari from ‘Aa’ishah  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  her that Hind Bint Utbah said: "O Allah's Messenger! Abu Sufyan is a miser and he does not give me what I and my children need except if I take from him without telling him (without his permission). The Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: “Take what satisfies what you and your children's need, but with kindness.” [Al- Bukhari]

At last, we advise you to inform your husband of your wish to help your parents and to state to him the excellence of spending for the sake of Allah. Then, tell him kindly that the poor have a right in the wealth of the rich and spending money constitutes a form of thanking Allah for His favors.

In addition, recognizing the state of your parents should urge him to co-operate, rather than to scorn them.

Allah knows best.

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