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Fatwa CenterBeing good with others despite their offense is highly rewarded
Question
I'm a Muslim person living in the West I came to study here with some colleagues. We live with each other in the same flat. With time problems happened which sometimes I was responsible about and sometimes they were I tried my best over months to finish all problems and return back to be friends however they refused and they continue dealing with me in a very bad way like complete neglect and cut of all relations with me. I suffered allot and I thought about leaving the flat however I'm afraid to live alone as I'm not married and I'm afraid to fall in Haram. I went back to my country and came back again then I felt that they want to return relations with me. However I do not feel I can do it and I'm not interested in speaking to them again. As one of them lied and transmitted words between me and other people which sometimes he himself said. And both were dealing with me in a very bad way but I'm afraid that this could be Haram. So I did al Istikharah prayer. Please lead me to the best way which as a Muslim stay away from Haram.
Answer
Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds; and may His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions. In a sound Hadith, reported in Saheeh Muslim , that A man said to the Messenger of Allah: 'I have relatives with whom I try to keep the ties of relationship but they sever relations with me; and whom I treat kindly but they treat me badly, I am gentle with them but they are rough to me.' He (Blessing and peace be upon him) replied, "If you are as you say, it is as if you were feeding them hot ashes, and you will be with a supporter, against them, from Allah as long as you continue to do so". [Reported by Imam Muslim ] Abdullah Ibn Amar reported from the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) that he said: Al-Wasil is not the one who recompenses the good done to him by his relatives, but al Wasil is the one who keeps good relations with those relatives who had severed the bond of kinship with him. [Reported by Imam al-Bukhari ] The above two Ahadith prove that it is better to keep on having good ties with people even if they cause you harm, and Allah will reward you for that. This does not indicate any humiliation or degradation rather it will raise your grade and make you more respectful provided you do so for the Sake of Allah. The Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) said: No wealth decreases due to charity, Allah enhances the prestige of a person due to the forgiveness and one who humbles himself for the sake of Allah, Allah raises his ranks. [Saheeh Muslim ] Most likely if you remain nice with them and behave in good manners though they keep on offending you, sooner or later they will change into good friends. Allah Says (interpretation of meaning): {…Repel (Evil) with what is better: then will he between whom and thee was hatred become as it were thy friend and intimate! And no one will be granted such goodness except those who exercise patience and self-restraint, none but persons of the greatest good fortune. }[41:34-35]. However, if they want to forget the past and maintain good relations, in this case, you have to accept their offer since making peace between Muslims is an obligation while cutting relations off is forbidden in Shariah. The Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) said: It is forbidden for a Muslim to abandon speaking to his brother for more than three days. Finally, we advise you to accept their desire to reconcile the ties, especially living alone may expose you to many harms as you mentioned. However try to explain to them that lying and thinking ill of a Muslim brother are forbidden. Allah knows best.
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