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Fatwa CenterNon-Muslim wants to marry a Muslim woman
Question
I was born Christian but do not practice Christianity. Although I am not an atheist, I am not really a believer. I believe in many teachings of religion (being good to others, etc.) but not all teachings (Heaven, Hell, etc.)
I have known this Muslim girl for two years and we fell in love. We are both Arabs, but from different countries. I am 51 years old, divorced with three children over 21 from my previous marriage. She is 39, and was married but divorced after 3 months, although her previous husband converted to Islam as she wished. She had no children from her first marriage.
She is a very busy professional (as I am) but she still makes the time to practice her religion (5 prayers daily, fasting of Ramadan, reading of the Qur'aan, annual Zakaat, etc.). I read the Qur'aan with her during Ramadhaan.
We have talked about marriage for a long time, and I have agreed to convert to marry her according to the Islamic law so that our marriage would not be against the Shari'a. But I did not promise her to be a practicing Muslim.
She knows I am not a true believer, and she has concerns of she would be breaking Islamic laws by marrying me although I will say the Shahadah, and promised her I would support her religious beliefs, and even pray with her (sometimes) and go to the Hajj with her, and fast Ramadan with her, etc.
Her main concern is my possible bad influence on our children to be. If I do not take them to the mosque, or I do not practice in front of them, she is afraid that my influence on them would be greater than her influence.
1) Is it better for this lady to marry a Moslem by birth, son of a Moslem, who may not practice Islam, or even may drink alcohol, eat pork, and gamble, as some Moslem friends I know, or to marry me? At least I do not drink alcohol, eat pork, or gamble? And I am willing to support her practice of Islaamic "Fara'id", and her raising children according to religion?
- If I promise her to allow and support her in raising our children according to the Islamic law, will that "still" make her guilty under God that, because her marrying a non-true believer, if our children turn out to be non-believers? Or at best non-practicing?
I told her that it was a matter of faith, and I could not just pretend to have it when I do not. I told her that maybe in time, I might, but faith is not something I can espouse by word of mouth. It has to come from within me.
Your advice and answer to the two questions above are very much appreciated!
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.
Your question gives us a clear indication that you have good qualities like truthfulness, clarity, and being away from cheating and treason. We hope that such qualities will lead you to the truth, i.e., accepting Islam. It is proved through undeniable evidence that Islam is the only true religion that has cancelled all the previous religions. Allaah will never accept any religion other than Islam, and no one can escape the punishment of Allaah unless he embraces Islam.
Allaah says (interpretation of meaning): {And whoever desires other than Islam as religion-never will it be accepted from him and, he, in the Hereafter, will be among the losers.}[3:85].
For more details on this subject, please refer to the Fataawa: 88187and 88276.
As for marrying a non-Muslim man, it is the consensus of all Muslim scholars that a Muslim woman can never marry a non-Muslim. For more details, please read the Fataawa: 83425 and 81220.
So, the issue is regarding faith and a woman in Islam is instructed to choose the one who is pious and of noble character. Prophet Muhammad 
said: "When someone with whose religion and character you are satisfied asks for your daughter in marriage, accede to his request. If you do not do so, there will be trials on Earth and extensive corruption." [At-Tirmithi, Nasaa'ee and Ibn Maajah]
Having good character without the faith does not allow a Muslim woman to marry a non-Muslim. If she does so, her marriage is invalid; she is considered as a fornicator and any child that comes from such a marriage is not legitimate. So, the child cannot be traced back to his father, and neither the child nor his male parent inherit from each other.
As long as you do not want to trick that woman by pretending Islam which is a praiseworthy act, you must not marry her before you sincerely accept Islam.
We want you to know that not everyone whose parents are Muslims, or who has a Muslim name is a Muslim so, you need to be careful about judging Islam by the behavior of people whom you think may be Muslims.
Allaah knows best.
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