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Fatwa CenterExtravagance of children
Question
If a person read in English medium school as well as American school through life (i.e. 1 to 12 grade) and becomes a extravagant then is it his responsibility or his parents is responsible for that? Somebody told me about a person who spends a lot of money by dialing international calls with her father's money. He said that is not her fault as her parents always kept her in American school. But I think they do that as they want their children to be better educated. It is children responsibility to select the righteous path. What do you think?
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.
There is no doubt that the parents are responsible for the education of their children. It is confirmed that the Prophet 
said: "A man is a guardian of his family, and will be questioned about them.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
Children generally have a natural disposition to do good, but it is more likely that they follow throughout life what has been engraved in them from an early age. If they are guided to do good, they will remain as such, but if they are guided to do bad, they will head to wards it.
Therefore, the parents should choose a good environment for their children; an environment that would nurture them according to the principles of Islam and good moral standards. The parents have to be careful not to link the children with a bad environment which would sow in them bad behaviours that displease Allaah.
If the father is negligent in this matter, he is sinful and he will be held responsible before Allaah. The Prophet said: "Indeed Allaah will ask every guardian about his subjects, as whether he protected and safeguarded them or not, until a man is asked about his family." However, one should note that children are held accountable for their actions when they reach the age of puberty. Even if the father was negligent and did not educate his son properly, it is not an excuse for the latter to behave inappropriately, because he is pubescent and therefore is responsible for his own self. Allaah says (interpretation of meaning): {Ward off yourselves and your families against a fire (Hell)….}[66:6].
It is confirmed in a Qudsi narration that Allaah says on the Day of Judgment: "Indeed I will reckon your deeds, and reward you accordingly, so whoever finds good, should thank Allaah, and whoever finds otherwise, has only himself to blame."
Therefore, we advise this sister to fear Allaah, and to know that she is responsible for her acts and words. She will be held responsible for being extravagant as this is forbidden even with her own money let alone with her father's money. If she takes her father's money without his permission, then she is definitely more sinful, and has to repent to Allaah.
Finally, we advise any sister who is aware of her conduct to advise her as the Prophet said: "Indeed religion is giving advice." [Muslim] She has to do so with good admonition and in kindness, and know that whoever guides people to do good, will get exactly the same reward as those who performed that same good deed.
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