My question is that my wife was at visiting her family in a different state about 500 miles away from us. While she was there, we got into fights and arguments about money and some other stupid things. So apparently, she got so mad that one day she drove to our house with her and picked her stuff while I was at work, then she called me and told me that she did that and that she is not coming back and wants to end the relationship. I tried to talk to her but she refused to discuss the matter. So I spoke with her family and they tried to persuade her and I went down to talk to her but she kept insisting on the divorce. I left her for a week then I went to talk to her and the family, but she kept insisted on the divorce. So I divorced her. Do I have to pay her anything like Mu'khar or not. Does she have to give me the gold that I gave her? We were married for three years and I paid for most of her college expenses and we did not have kids because her family kept telling to wait until she got out of school. About a year ago, she injured her hand and we did not have insurance, so we ended owing the doctors and the hospital $8000 and I could not make payment, I only paid a little bit and the hospital bill is in her name. Also, there is some money owed to the school. Do I have to pay for the hospital bill, knowing that she have a degree now and she can work? Do I have to pay for the reminder of the money to the university?
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.
If you agreed to divorce your wife when she asked you to do so and you divorced her without any condition of compensation, then she is entitled for all her rights, like the full dowry, whether the one paid at the marriage contract or agreed to be paid later. As regards gold, if you gave it to her as a gift, or the custom is that it is considered as a part of the dowry, then you have no right to take it back. But if you lent it to her or set a condition that she can use it as long as she remains your wife, then you can take it back. As regards the money that you had spent for her medical treatment or studies, in principle it is a donation and you have no right to take it back as long as you did not give it to her as a loan in which case you can take it back. With regard to the remaining of the university fees, you are not obliged to pay them, unless you had promised the university to pay them, then you have to fulfill the agreement as Allaah says (interpretation of meaning): {O you who believe! Fulfill (your) obligations…}[5:1]. The Prophet said: "The Muslims are bound by their conditions." [Abu Daawood] But it is permissible for you to ask your wife for a refund.
Finally, we draw your attention to the following matters:
Firstly, you should be careful about anything that could hinder marital life, and be keen on solving the problems that could occur with wisdom, and avoid divorce as much as possible.
Secondly, it is not permissible for a woman to ask for a divorce without a valid reason. The Prophet said: "
Thirdly, it is forbidden for a woman to go out of her husband's house without her husband's permission.
Allaah knows best.
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