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Husband refuses to have Iftaar with his wife

Question

I am a new convert married to a born Muslim. I am wondering what the Qur'aan or Hadeeth say about the husband refusing to take Iftaar from me? What can I do to help him to take Iftaar from me during this Ramadhaan season? I continuously make food and have to throw it out as no one will eat left over in our home. I don't feel well throwing out food when others are starving.

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.

The Qur'aan urged the spouses to have good marital relationships, Allaah says (interpretation of meaning): {And live with them honourably.}[4:19]. One of the means that leads to living with one another with kindness and equity is to eat the food that the wife prepares, as long as it does not cause any harm. So we advise you to find out the reasons why your husband refuses to eat your food, and try to be frank with him. If you find out that you are negligent about him, then try to rectify the matter. There is no doubt that Allaah forbade being extravagant and condemned the spendthrifts. Allaah says (interpretation of meaning): {Verily, the spendthrifts are brothers of Satan.}[17:27]. Therefore, it is not permissible for a Muslim to prepare food more than what he needs, as in that case it would be thrown away and the one who throws it will be held accountable in front of Allaah. Allaah says (interpretation of meaning): {Then on that day you will be asked about the delight you indulged in, in this world}[102:8]. If we are going to be asked about the delights that we enjoyed, so what about what we throw away?

Allaah knows best.

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