I intend to marry someone who is of a different ethnicity to mine; he is a practising Muslim and is very much in to the Deen, Maasha' Allaah. I have read Istikhaara over and over and every time I have had good dreams and positive feelings. My family is very traditional and says that I must marry in the family. The person they have lined up for me is not practising and we have nothing in common and I know that Nikaah is invalid without the consent of both parties. The problem is I intend on "running away" soon, but I have no one who will act as my Wali. My father has said no, my brother is afraid that if he acts as my Wali my father will disown him so he has also said no, I don't have a grandfather and the only person who I can think of is my brother in-law, who is also my cousin. Is it permissible for him to act as my Wali? I have heard that if a Wali cannot be found in the family then an Imaam or Shaykh, etc., could act as a Wali for the bride. Could you please quote some Hadeeth, elaborating on the position and the importance of the Wali. I have spoken with many sisters from different help lines and they all say that it is permissible for me to leave, they've advised me to be patient, but they say I have the right to marry who I want again. Could you please provide me with Hadeeth on the importance of a Wali and if in Islam it is acceptable for a woman to marry someone without the permission of her parents.
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.
A woman can not be compelled to get married without her consent as we have made it clear in our Fatwas: 82018 and 87621.
The criterion for choosing a spouse is his/her adherence to religion and good manners as we mentioned in our Fatwa: 87690.
If the guardian refuses to marry her off without any legal reason, she may ask the help of a Muslim ruler or his representative such as a Muslim judge, or the Muslim community in that area as we have mentioned in our Fatwa: 83394.
Finally, we warn you against running away which may lead to many bad consequences.
Allaah knows best.
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