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Fatwa CenterHusband and wife disagree about their marital rights and obligations
Question
For a husband and wife whether the Khul’ has taken place in the light of the letter reproduced below? (If yes, what is the next procedure to be followed? If no, what is to be done?) This is the letter exchanged between one wife (Mrs. XYZ) and one husband (Mr. ABC) {Mrs. XYZ wrote: "I Mrs. XYZ w/o Mr. ABC would like to take separation from my present husband Mr. ABC, as he is not willing to offer me pocket money of QR1000/- per month and the SIM Card (Mobile Card) which he deliberately and diplomatically removed from the mobile. This I would like because not only are my extra needs not fulfilled apart from food and shelter but also it is a matter of my dignity. This is valid if he doesn't give me the things I asked for otherwise this is invalid.” Signed by Mrs. XYZ. Upon this the husband wrote: "After providing all requirements of my wife which include food, required money, good furnished house, transportation, local telephone, clothes, full medical and any other day to day genuine requirements to live happily, it is not advisable for an ideal husband to provide pocket money of QR1000/- per month, SIM Card and a sum of QR xxx /month (asked verbally) to a wife. Therefore, I do hereby accept separation request of my wife Mrs. XYZ as per Islamic laws with immediate effect. Singed by Mr. ABC}.
Note: More over the discussion on separation was going on for last few days, then the husband requested the wife that if you don’t want to stay with me, why don’t you ask that in writing and the wife wrote the above letter in response, and husband replied as given above.
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.
Khul' is when a wife demands divorce from her husband in return for a compensation. What really happened in this case in not Khul', rather the case is that the woman is asking her husband to divorce her. If the husband really wrote that he divorces her and intended it, or uttered the word divorce when he wrote the term to her, then the wife is considered a divorcee. However, if he had not uttered it or intended it when writing it, then divorce does not take place according to the majority of jurists
. That's because divorce by writing, is considered as a metaphor for divorce according to them, so it must be accompanied with intention.
Nevertheless, in case we suppose that divorce had taken place, if it is the first or second divorce, then it is a revocable one and he can take her back within the 'Iddah (a prescribed waiting period before divorce takes effect), but if it is the third divorce then he cannot take her back until she marries another person who again divorces her.
However, if we suppose that divorce had not taken place, then this woman is still considered his wife.
Finally, we would like to draw your attention to the following matters:
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It is not permissible for a wife to ask for divorce without a sound religious reason. What is mentioned in the question is not a valid reason for this woman to ask for divorce.
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Marital life is a great bond, so it should not be broken for trivial reasons.
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It is not permissible for a wife to burden her husband with demands and requests that he may not be able to fulfil, or which could be considered as extravagance.
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The wife has the right of the fostering of the child before the age of seven. After the age of seven, the child is given the choice whether to stay with his mother or father. Since this child is eight years of the age, then he chooses with whom he wants to stay, if we suppose that divorce had taken place.
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It is more appropriate to resort to an Islamic court as it is more proper for it to study the issues in this case. Allaah knows best.
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