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Fatwa CenterSecond wife disobeys her husband because he does not stay with her
Question
My friend who has a second wife and he doesn't stay with her for genuine reason. Second wife refuses to obey him for not having staying with him. Her request is if he stays she will obey and wear and behave like normal Muslim girl. At times she deprives him of close relation between husband and wife. Please advice.
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.
In Islam, it is an obligation on the husband to be just between his wives regarding spending on them and staying overnight with them, Allaah Says (which means): {…but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with your wives), then only one...}[Quran 4:3]. Therefore, it is not permissible for a husband to prevent one of his wives from her rights without a valid religious reason. Indeed she may ask her husband to give her all her rights, but she is not allowed to mistreat her husband if he mistreats her, on the contrary she is obliged to obey him in what is permissible. For instance, if he calls her to bed, she is obliged to obey him even if she really does not want to. The Prophet 
said: "If a husband calls his wife to bed (to have sexual intercourse with her) and she refuses, and he goes to bed angry with her, the angels will curse her until she gets up in the morning." [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
Therefore, we advise this woman to reconcile with her husband in a nice way, and there is no harm in seeking the help of pious and righteous people for this effect. Indeed one of the noblest objectives of marriage in Islam is to establish peace and tranquillity between the husband and wife.
Allaah Knows best.
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