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Fatwa CenterHer ex-husband does not teach or follow Islam with their children
Question
l have children and l have been married before. I am a practicing Muslim but my ex-husband doesn't teach or follow Islam with our children, fasting, praying or when celebrations of 'Eed isn't observed and he doesn't provide Halaal meat very often to the children. His way of life is so different Islamicly to mine and my second husbands way. How can I help the children to be brave and ask their father to buy only Halaal food, and to practice their religion when they see their father which is a shared care arrangement? This is one of the main reasons our marriage didn't work. Another complication is I married his brother, and l find this hard as l can't tell anybody and I don't want to be judge what do you advise. We also have children and we live a respectful Islamic life.
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.
First of all, this husband should be advised with wisdom and good admonition. He should be reminded of Allaah and of the danger on which he is if he persists in being negligent about his religion, abandoning the prayer and fasting, being negligent about his children and their nurturing, and feeding them forbidden food. So, one should invoke Allaah earnestly to guide him and rectify his affairs; it might be that he will be guided and the problem will be solved.
However, if the persists on this situation and does not take heed, then he has no right in the fostering of his children who are at the age of fostering. Anyway, you, as a mother, should be keen on guiding your children and teaching them the matters of their religion. For instance, they should be keen on eating lawful food and avoid forbidden food. If they are brought up this way, it might be that it would be easier for them to advise their father and refrain from eating the forbidden food that their father brings to them.
The children should be brought up on the following:
1- They are obliged to be kind and dutiful to their father even if he is mistreats them, but he should not be obeyed if he orders them to disobey Allaah. It is confirmed that the Prophet 
said: "Obedience is required only in what is permissible." [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
2- Telling the truth and not be afraid of anyone, as the Prophet used to teach his companions 
to this effect. In this regard it would be important for you to mention to them some stories of the companions like the story of Mus'ab Ibn 'Umayr 
with his mother, and the story of Sa'd Ibn Abu Waqqaas with his mother, and other stories which are reported in the books of biography.
Allaah Knows best.
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