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Fatwa CenterHas difficulty raising his stepchildren as Muslims
Question
In the Name of Allah
Dear Brother
I am a Muslim doctor and have been living in the west for the last 12 years. I got married from a British woman who has already a son and a daughter. They are aged 12 & 14 years now. I was then blessed from Allah with 2 boys Omar & Yousef aged 5 & 2 years.
My wife has converted to Islam and I have no doubt about her faith. She is really a good Muslim. However, I find her son and daughter very difficult to deal with. They have been living with me since we got married 7 years ago. I tried to grow them the way I wish for them as Muslims, but they are influenced to some extent with the western society. I have to remind them many times for each prayer otherwise they would not pray. The 14 years old girl keep watching TV programmes, for example, that I asked her not to watch. Do not take me wrong, these programmes are considered suitable for her by the western standard but not for us as Muslims.
I would like to keep trying with them, but also I fear their bad effect on the young ones. I thought about asking them to live with my wife’s family, but I fear that Allah will ask me why I left them and did not try with them to be good Muslims.
Will you please till me the best thing to do?
R Sallam
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.
We ask Allaah to reward you with the best for taking care of the two step-children, and for your great concern to raise them according to Islam. Basically, you are not obliged to let them live in your house, if they have anyone who can take care of them. If there is no one to take care of them or that person is not eligible to do so, for instance he/she is non-Muslim (the caretaker should be a Muslim as some scholars say) then you must permit them to live with you according to the opinion of some scholars. In this case, you have to do your best to guide them to virtue and to provide them with the Islamic environment that will help them be righteous. They are still at the stage where they easily accept your guidance. You and your wife should set a good example for them, choose pious friends for them and marry them off to pious mates when they reach the age of marriage.
Probably, it is more suitable here, to remind you that living in a non-Muslim country has bad consequences, particularly on children. Your wife's children are a living example of these consequences. How can then you feel safe regarding your own children? The best solution in this matter is trying to migrate to any Muslim country with your family. This may help both of you to raise the children according to the teachings of Islam.
Allaah Knows best.
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