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Fatwa CenterWants to marry a divorced man who is older than her
Question
Alsalam alaikaum wr wb..Im askin you please to answer my Questions...Im incredibly lost...I am Practicing Islam Alhamduallah, i just wanted to know Is day dreaming about sex, with the same or oppisite sex haram? I heard that Its not haram since its not done literally, Its only imagination. My Question is can I just dream, since im really not doin it?..im sure i wont do it..But its something that i just enjoy i guess my second Question is rather diffucult...i have someone that wants to Propose to me..He is a good man, has a job, older then me...like 12 yrs older then me. im 18. he is Very religious..and Alhamduallah still practicing, Has a very good character, And is well mannered, the Problem is the Age difference and that he was married before and has kids. Now for me i really dont care about all that..hes divorced, and i dont mind being there for the kids..im just worried about the society around me..what they will say...especially my parents..he really is a good man. and I feel Secure when i talk to him. whenever i bring it up with friends they say NO , you cant, he was married before and his kids, and they really try to push me away..i dont kno what to do..im very confused.. thankyou very much ..Please answer very Quickly... Alsalam ALaikaum
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
It is not permissible for you to day dream having sexual intercourse with either sexes, men or women, as this is a means which leads to committing illegal sexual intercourse. It is for this reason that the Prophet mentioned that desiring with the heart is among the means leading to Zina (fornication and adultery) as he said: "… and the heart desires and wishes, while the private part ratifies that or denies it." What you heard that it is permissible to daydream about this if it has not really occurred is wrong; for more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 92405. Therefore, we advise you to observe fast, acting upon the advice of the Prophet until Allaah facilitates your marriage.
With regard to marrying someone who is older than you, please refer to Fatwa 84745. If the husband has children from a previous marriage, then this is not religiously an obstacle even if the children live with you in the same house. Hence, you should not refuse this man as a husband just because the society views this as abnormal. If this view is taken into account, many religious benefits will not be achieved.
As regards the parents objecting to this marriage, then this is a considerable objection because it is an obligation to obey the parents within what is permissible and it comes in priority over the woman marrying a specific man. However, some scholars 
are of the view that it is an obligation to obey the parents is conditioned to them facing real harm as a result of this marriage otherwise it is not an obligation to obey them. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 84745.
Allaah Knows best.
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