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Fatwa CenterHer mother wants her to attend a co-ed high school
Question
Salam alyakum
Please bear with me.This is will be lengthy question. I apologize for any inconvenience that i might have place you in.
I live in toronto. I would to study islamic studies here in toronto full time;however my mother wants me to finish my education.Keep in mind i finished my high school degree at international in riyadh. I have changed my priporities in my life, i want to gain more islamic knowledge and be better muslism, get closer to Allah (Swt).The reasons why im refusing to attend the adult high school is because first is mixed and i do not want to intermingle with men. Im already doing distant learning to complete my high school.Therefore, i do not have attend in person. Second, there are too much fitnah there.Now my mother position is that i do my wordly education full time and take quran classes part time ( on the weekends).I know im suppose to obey my mother in everything except the haram. My question is can i disobey her since there are too fitnah and i can still finish my high school in the comfortable of home and still attend the islamic insitiute?
Another factor is that if i disobey my mother she doesnt talked with me for weeks at a time.She reduces the groceries as a punishment, she will be harsh with me ( i mean treatment).I will apologise to daily , kiss her on the forehead and it does nothing.That is what happened to me when i attended the school for couple of days in june. She also made dua against me; saying i will not get any khain.Will her dua be answered because she was very angry, i disobeyed her? I tired to compromise with her but she is not trying to compromise.
Another factor is since the islamic institute is very far from where i live in toronto.I have to take the subway, and the bus. I dont have the money for it. She will not give the money for it. I cant find work because i wear the naqab.Basically my life will be difficult.My mother will constantly mad at me, insulting me.She will not support me at all.What shoud i do?
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His Slave and Messenger.
If the case is as you have mentioned that the school that your mother wants to enroll you in is a co-ed school, in addition to the great deal of temptation everywhere, it is not permissible for you to study there. You are not required to obey your mother to study in this school, nor is your disobedience to her in this matter considered undutifulness to her. That is because there should be no obedience to a human in disobedience to Allaah. It was authentically narrated that the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: "Obedience should be only in what is permissible." [Al-Bukhari and Muslim] As long as the reason behind disobeying your mother is the fear of falling into what does not please Allaah The Almighty, then have glad tiding that your mother's supplications against you will not harm you.
In fact, scholars mentioned that obedience to one's parents is obligatory in what benefits them and does not harm the child. It seems that your mother does not gain any benefit from preventing you from studying in the Islamic Institute; she wants you to stop studying there just to complete your studies in the co-ed school. In any case, you are not required to obey your mother in quitting your studies in the Islamic Institute. For further information, see Fataawa 84942 and 82254. These two Fataawa outline the limits of obeying one's parents.
As for the issue of financial support, we have already answered it in a previous question that you sent to us.
Allaah Knows best.
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