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Fatwa CenterShe thinks her husband is still attached to his ex-wife
Question
salam aleikum. i have one big problem. i have been married with my husband for almost one and half year and we have one son who is 4 months. one year before my husband have married me he was married to another woman for 3 months then he divorced her. one day after i have married my husband he started to talk very much about this woman, about their life together in the 3 months they was married, about her children abouth her family and even about her ex husbands (father of her children) He also compared us by saying that she loved him more than me because she have cried for him because she loved him but i dont cry. after marriage after some time i have see in his phone that he still have sms from her from the time they was married. when i became pregnant, he said that if it would be one girl we will name her nora. After i have understand that nora was his ex wifes name. when i was about 3 or 4 weeks pregnant he have leave his email open and i have read one old love letter from she to him there. i became very sad so that i the next morning loose my child in stomack. it died. For which reasons he have still saved her sms and emails i dont know. but now after one and half years marriage when my love for him is very much i think about how in the beggining he have say all this things to me about his ex and it is now destroying my marriage because i cant forget all the things he have say to me about she, even if he say that he dont love her but i dont believe me, i feel that he have married be only for to forget her and its not fair to me. I stay with him because of our son, because i dont want our son to grow up without his dad. This thing with the ex is very big problem to me now. Even if he say i am his first love but all the things i know about his ex makes me sad and even when we are happy only to me to think about all the things he have say makes me to destroy our marriage.. Please give me advice
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
If what you mentioned about your husband is true, then he is wrong in many aspects; among which is keeping sms messages from his previous wife who is no more his wife as it appears from the question, and him mentioning to you his love for her in order to provoke you, and also him willing to name your daughter the same name as her. All this is an act of having bad marital relationships with wife and this contradicts the order of Allaah Who Says (what means): {And live with them in kindness.}[Quran 4:19]
On the other hand, you are wrong by checking his e-mails without his permission and this is prohibited. Besides, this did not benefit you in any manner; rather, it only increased your sorrow and depression.
Therefore, we first advise you to be patient because there is much good in being patient, Allaah willing. For more benefit on the excellence of patience, please refer to Fatwa 83577.
You should endeavor to forget what your husband did, because the devil wants to spoil your life by remembering it and destroy the marital relationship between him and you and this may lead to the break up of the family. So, you should be careful about this and you should continue your marital life with him as if nothing had happened. Then if your husband behaves again in an improper way, you should advise him and have mutual understanding with him.
Finally, we advise you to beautify yourself to him, so that his heart will be attached to you and not to any other woman.
Allaah Knows best.
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