السَّلاَمُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ اللهِ وَبَرَكَاتُهُ I got a very bad education from my parents, they were always offensive, aggressive and me and my brothers were almost beaten by them in the past(childhood), because little unimportant things. We don't get a islamic education, but elhamdulillah, me and my brother are praying and got guided from Allah ta'aala. Now, I'm living with my parents in the same house, but i want after my final exam to move out, because I cant live with this family. They don't think about us, they always speak with bad words, they curse and more... allahu alam. They really destroy my iman and I got no patience too. I want to be a good muslim in sha allah, but my parents make me so angry. I can't forget the pain, which I felt over and over the years. They abused us very often. They don't invested time in us, with love, harmony or heat. They destroyed us our psyche. Me and my brothers were often in the hospital. Furthermore: They were divorced and so i had to be a men, who cares about his family. Now, they are together again and my father won't to work, he's lazy and he's just sitting at home. He gives a damn about us. My parents were bad models.. I learned a many about the islamic character, i always help my parents, because i want to be a good muslim and a get a good wife and childrens too in sha allah. But this sort of parents are ungrateful and forget quickly the good did. I live in Germany, a bad place for muslims. Another brother from me is now shizophrenic. He got sick about the problems.. In reality, i hate my parents, but i don't want to disobedient opposite Allah ta'aala. I want to respect this parents, but sometimes, I lack the power. I really need help from you, please help me in this severe life-phase. May allah forgive us all our sins and make us to good muslims in sha allah. (a student from Germany, 22 years old)

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His Slave and Messenger.

First of all, may Allaah reward you for treading the path of guidance, as this is a great blessing that requires gratefulness to Allaah. Allaah says (what means): {They consider it a favor to you that they have accepted Islam. Say, ‘Do not consider your Islam favor to me. Rather, Allaah has conferred favor upon you that He has guided you to the faith, if you should be truthful.”}[Quran 49:17]

Among the best deeds to be grateful to Allaah in order to preserve this blessing is to seek beneficial knowledge, perform righteous deeds, attend circles of knowledge and keep company with righteous and pious people. May Allaah guide us and you to what pleases Him, and bless us with a good ending to our lives and protect us from sin.

There is no doubt that it is a great affliction that the parents are cruel to their children, and that they treat their children in a harsh intimidating manner instead of treating them with compassion and love. However, they remain parents for their children no matter what they do. The children must be kind and dutiful to them in all cases as we have previously clarified in Fataawa 87019 and 88254.

You should always keep in mind that they are your path to Paradise and this will help you bear the harm that may come from them. And ask for help from Allaah as there is no power nor might except through Him.

Part of dutifulness to parents is to supplicate Allaah to guide them to righteousness; Allaah says (what means): {And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy and say, “My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small.”}[Quran 17:24]

For some guidance on how to deal with tough parents, please refer to Fataawa 120291 and 230662.

Dear brother, we advise you to endeavor to forget their mistreatment to you as it is not good conduct nor is it liked in Islam or in custom for children to have rancor towards their parents.

There is no harm for children to hate their parents because of their bad behavior, but they must be careful not to harm them in any manner or lose patience with them or meet them with a stern face; Allaah says (what means): {….say not to them [so much as], “uff,” and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word.}[Quran 17:23]

Also, you should not consider doing good to them as a favor, as it is they who have the favor upon you as Allaah made them a cause for your existence in this world.

On the other hand, if you do not fear that your parents' state would become worse if you leave them, then you are not obliged to live with them in the same house; however, you should not resort to doing so unless you think that this would be of considerable benefit. Your presence with them, your advice and your good treatment to them may be a cause for their guidance.

Finally, it is worth mentioning that advising them indirectly might be more useful, for example, by having them listen to good touching lectures.

Allaah Knows best.