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If parent requests that son divorces his wife

Question

1.If parents especially mother told her son to divorce his wife without any reason or simple reasons, is it a duty of the son to divorce his wife as an obeyed son of the mother? It is to be notated that all the attempts are made to make her understand and she is strict on her decision. I heard in a hadith ( i can not recall where i read) that if your mother told to divorce your wife divorce her. Is ther any hadith realing to this and actually what does that mean? 2.At the time of every Jummah Khutba empty boxes are running or passing before the muktadi to make sadkah for the development of the mosque; is it right running the boxes or put money on the boxes at that time? Several times Imaam saheb told not to running the boxes at that time but it does not work as many muslims come to the mosque late and for most Muslims participation some one of them running the box lately.

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and messenger.

In regard to the first question, we have already clarified in Fataawa 84056 and 84808 that a son is not obliged to obey his parents in divorcing his wife without a legitimate reason. We are not aware of any Hadeeth stating the obligation of obeying the mother if she orders her son to divorce his wife.

However, it is narrated that Ibn ‘Umar  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  him said: “I had a wife whom I loved but my father hated. He ordered me to divorce her, and I refused. I mentioned that to the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) who said to me: “O Abdullaah ibn 'Umar! Divorce your wife." [At-Tirmithi]

Nonetheless, this – we mean the obligation of obedience in this case – is contingent on the righteousness of the father who is most likely not susceptible to be driven by unjustifiable inclinations in ordering his son to divorce his wife. Ibn Al-‘Arabi  may  Allaah  have  mercy  upon  him said in his commentary on At-Tirmithi (‘Aaridhat Al-Ahwathi): “The first to command his son to divorce his wife was Ibraaheem (Abraham)  may  Allaah  exalt  his  mention and he is a sufficient example. Part of a son's dutifulness to his father is to hate whomever his father hates even if he himself loves that person especially if the father is religious and righteous, loves for the sake of Allaah and hates for His sake, and does not do so just out of following his desires.... Even if this is not the case, it is still desirable for the son to divorce his wife in order to please the father, but he is not obliged to do so as he is obliged in the first case [i.e. the father is righteous]; that is because the obedience of the father in what is right is part of obedience to Allaah, and being kind and dutiful to him is part of being kind and dutiful to Allaah.” [End of quote]

As regards the second question, if fundraising takes place during the Khutbah, then this is not permissible as this disturbs the worshippers, and listening to the Friday Khutbah is an obligation, so it is not permissible for a Muslim to be preoccupied with anything other than that. For more information, please refer to Fatwa 41764.

Allaah Knows best.

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