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Fatwa CenterA Muslim performing Hajj before pardoning those who have wronged him
Question
As-Salam-O-Alaikummy question is regarding hajj and forgiveness.I wanted to know is it true that hajj will not be accepted if we do not forgive someone?Any time in my whole life somebody has asked me for forgiveness, Allah is a witness, I always tried my best to forgive them and move on. However, there are two people who have wrongs me and my mother a few years back and it had a big toll on my life. The people who hurt us were my aunt and uncle. They insulted me secretly and hurt my mother. And when they were exposed, they lied and covered it up and everyone including my own sister and father took my aunt and uncles side.I dont know how many times i have cried thinking about that. I cannot get over it and never will. My mom has lost all trust and respect for them and so have I.The only way i can stay happy is if i dont think about them, or that day, or totally ignore and not think about anything that remids me of them. if i ever try to tell ppl the truth of what they did, people take their side and insult me for going against them.because islam belives in maintaining ties with kinship, i have not broken any ties with them though. Any time they call on phone and ask for me, or wish me, or smile at me, I put a stone on my heart and talk back and smile back.this is the only thing i can do....I cannot forgive themI do not wish to forgive them, so that on the day of Judgement me and my mom can get compensation, and that all the people that took their side, see the truth and see how much pain they gave us.So, if i go on hajj, and forgive everyone except these two people, but still maintain kinship with them and am polite to them, and speak to them when they talk to meIs it ok??? Will my hajj be accepted???
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.
We have not found any Islamic evidence or statements from the scholars indicating that if someone does not pardon those who have wronged him, his Hajj will not be accepted. Someone who has been wronged is not obliged in Islam to pardon the person who wronged him; rather, the person who has been wronged is entitled to retaliate in kind against the oppressor. However, to pardon is much more encouraged in Islam, and it is one of the greatest means of drawing closer to Allaah The Exalted.
It is recommended for someone who has been wronged to pardon his relatives who have wronged him with even greater reason because they share family ties; such an act is rather more rewardable, Allaah willing. There is no doubt that oppression emanating from one’s relatives is harder to endure, but pardoning their oppression is much more rewardable and the fruits reaped in this case are incomparable with those reaped in case of retaliation against them. Please refer to Fataawa 84351 and 89899.
Therefore, you are advised to make an effort to pardon them, and not leave room for Satan to lure you into missing such great rewards and attaining the honorable status of those who pardon. You will reap the fruits of such a righteous deed in both the world and the Hereafter; Allaah The Exalted says (what means): {And those who strive for Us – We will surely guide them to Our ways. And indeed, Allaah is with the doers of good.} [Quran 29:69]
In fact, you did well by retaining relations with them and maintaining the ties of kinship and being polite with them. This is sufficient as far as family ties are concerned. However, you are advised to pardon them and forgive their transgressions. We implore Allaah to facilitate and accept your Hajj, to forgive your sins, and to raise your rank.
Allaah Knows best.
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