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Fatwa CenterFeeling ashamed of mother who does not wear hijaab
Question
Assalaamu alaykum wa rahmatullaahi wa barakaatuhu. My mother does not wear the hijab, she does not even wear a scarf on her head (may Allaah guide her), so I feel ashamed to walk with her or go out with her, regardless of whether I am in a Muslim country or not. Is this normal? Notice that I do not reject her when she asks me to go out with her to have a coffee or to go elsewhere, but in my heart, I feel happiness and even more when I see girls in the street wearing the hijab. So please, Scholar, tell me if it is normal to feel ashamed of my mother when walking in public.
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
It is natural for a Muslim who loves obedience to Allah and its people and hates sin and its people to have this feeling that you mentioned; this indicates that your heart is alive. The dead heart does not feel; Ibn Al-Qayyim 
said in Madaarij As-Saalikeen, “The strength of bashfulness in the heart is based on the extent of life in it. The lack of bashfulness indicates the death of the heart and soul; the more the heart is alive, the more perfect its bashfulness is.”
We advise you to be kind and dutiful to your mother. Indeed, the best act of dutifulness to her is to endeavor to guide her and reform her.
You should never despair in doing so. First, you should supplicate for her as much as possible, because supplication is one of the best means to achieve one’s aspirations. Your Lord is Most Generous, and He promised to answer our supplications.
Allah says (what means): {And your Lord says, “Call upon Me; I will respond to you.” Indeed, those who disdain My worship will enter Hell [rendered] contemptible.} [Quran 40:60]
You should also advise her in a wise, soft, and gentle manner and show her that you are compassionate to her and concerned about her welfare. You should be very gentle and lenient to her. Then if she regains her senses, this is what is required; otherwise, you should keep good company with her.
Al-Aadaab Ash-Shar’iyyah by Ibn Muflih from the Hanbali School of jurisprudence, reads:
“Chapter on enjoining parents to do good and forbidding them from doing evil: (Imaam) Ahmad said in the narration by Yoosuf ibn Moosa, ‘One should order his parents to do good and forbid evil.’ And he said in the narration of Hanbal, ‘If he sees his father doing something that he dislikes, he teaches him without violence or abuse, and he should not speak to him in a harsh way, otherwise he should leave him, because a parent is not like other people.’”
For more benefit, please refer to fatwa 13288.
We ask Allah to guide your mother to repentance and righteousness and to make her pleased with you and gather you with her in Paradise.
Allah knows best.
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