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Fatwa CenterDelaying informing old parent of death of beloved grandchild
Question
Assalaamu alaykum Mufti. Yesterday, my brother's son expired. (To Allaah we belong, and to Him shall be our return). My mother is 90 years old. My other brothers in India did not tell my mother about the death of Bilal as my mother loves him much, and they fear that my mother will undergo a sudden, great shock due to his death and that she may not be able to bear it and collapse. So Bilal was burried without my mother's knowledge. Now we feel great guilt because of not telling my mother this news. We have decided to inform her slowly, slowly, considering her state of mind, and when we all brothers and sisters are in India, around her. Now please tell us, have my bothers in India done wrong by not telling my mother, who thinks that her Bilal is still alive. According to Islam, should we not have done this? Is it a sin to not have told our mother? Our intention in not telling her was to maintain her health, as she was sick and is 90 years old. If it is wrong and a sin, then please advise us; what should we do so that we would be forgiven by Allaah and our old mother for not showing her Bilal's dead body or informing her of his death. We are very confused. We shall appreciate your kind advise. May Allaah reward you. We shall be awaiting your early reply.
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.
We extend our deepest condolences to you for your loss; we ask Allah to confer His mercy and forgiveness upon the deceased, reward him generously, pardon his sins, illuminate and expand his grave for him, and bless your mother with patience.
As long as your intention was to protect your mother and you took into consideration her health condition and her psychological state, then we hope that there is no harm on you in not telling her.
However, you should not delay informing her of the news because the prolonged delay may lead to the opposite result and add to her pain and grief. You should keenly choose a person who is known for their wisdom and good manner of speaking and who has a special place in her heart to inform her of the matter.
Allah knows best.
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