Assasalaamu alaykum Shaikh, to what extent is it right or wrong to tell women that they are dumb and cannot do what a man can do? Or to what extent is it right or wrong to tell a man not to cry like a woman or to insult men by telling them to sit in their home and wear bracelet while it is so demeaning? It is as if being a woman is a shameful thing. What is the position of Islam about these types of statements which belittle women and their contributions and also upset women? These types of statements are widespread. Men can do what women cannot do and similarly women can do what men cannot do, but society and culture venerate men and belittle women. What is the position of Islam about this unfair attitude of society?
All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah and that Muhammad, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.
There is nothing wrong with the second statement if a woman says it to a man because the apparent intention is to urge him not to cry. The same goes for the third statement if it is used to give a similar meaning.
As for the first statement, it is impermissible to say it because it implies insult and ridicule. Allah, The Exalted, says (what means): {O you who have believed, let not a people ridicule (another) people; perhaps they may be better than them, nor let women ridicule (other) women; perhaps they may be better than them...} [Quran 49:11]
Each of the two genders – men and women – has its virtue and status, and women are the counterparts of men and their roles complete each other. If men were favored with certain abilities, women as well were favored with others. Women are able to carry some duties in this life that men cannot handle, and this is real and witnessed every day.
Indeed, life is an integration of the efforts of both men and women. You are right to say that society has unfair traditions and customs in this respect and that women are wronged because of them. In fact, no religion is known to have honored women and preserved their rights with justice the way Islam did. For more benefit, please refer to fatwas 81237, 163533, and 81205.
Therefore, the fair, impartial person should judge Islam according to its principles and not according to the actions of those who belong to it, who are human beings; some of them make mistakes and some do not (make those same mistakes), some have knowledge and some are ignorant, some are sincere and some are hypocrites, and so on.
Allah knows best.
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