Asalaamo-Alaikum. I have a question regarding intimate relationships (Zina’a). I was married only once, had a Khula’a one year ago, and never once had any inappropriate relationships prior to marriage (or after) until two weeks ago. I have always stayed true to Allah (SWT), however, I’m worried my actions with this person, who is a non-Muslim, will lead to punishment in the Hereafter. Unlike my previous husband, this man is honestly such a gentleman. I think this is why it all happened - this man is caring, genuine, honest, and all the good things we look for in someone special. Together, we researched the consequences of what would happen if a Muslim woman engaged in this kind of relationship with a non-Muslim man prior to marriage. I have committed Zina’a and I am so afraid I will go to hell. I have read it is not uncommon for humans to make mistakes and Allah (SWT) understands and forgives those who repent. I know what I did was wrong, but can you kindly speak to whether Allah (SWT) will hear my repentance, forgive my major sin, and not punish me in the Hereafter? I know only Allah (SWT) is the judge of this, but any information would be helpful, Jazakumullahu-Khairun. I understand repentance is being remorseful, choosing not to do the deed again, but I find myself still wanting to engage in those acts with him because he is a real genuine individual. This is a basic human need, right? I’m finding it so difficult to find a good man to marry again. In our culture, it is really hard to get re-married, given I have already been married before. I just don’t know what I’ll do if I end up being single the rest of my life. I was never the type of person who thought engaging in intimate relations prior to marriage was okay. But I did…and to be honest, I kind of Want to be with this man as I really like him. I just don’t know what to do. Please advise.

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.

The Mercy of Allah is vast and the door of repentance is open. Our Lord is Most Gracious and accepts the repentance of whoever repents to Him. Allah Says (what means): {Say, “O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah. Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful.”.} [Quran 39:53]

Additionally, Abu Tharr narrated that the Prophet said: “Allah Says: O My slaves! You commit sins by night and day, and I pardon all kinds of sins, so beg pardon from Me, and I will grant you pardon.” [Muslim]

Therefore, take the initiative to repent and think good of your Lord. For more benefit on the conditions of repentance, please refer to Fatwa 86527.

In the light of the above (and the repentance conditions mentioned in the Fatwa), you should know that if you insist on continuing your illicit relationship with that man, then your repentance is not valid.

Therefore, hasten in cutting off any relationship with him, and don't be deceived by his sweet words and kind treatment. Do not respond to the lures of Satan who tries to lead you to destruction. Allah Says (what means): {O children of Adam, let not Satan tempt you as he removed your parents from Paradise.} [Quran 7:27]

If you do not get married and live in this worldly life in torment, then this is easier than the torment of the Hereafter.

However, we do not mean to make you lose hope on getting married again, as the complete goodness is in the Hands of Allah Almighty, Who is capable of everything and everything is easy for him. Therefore, you need to turn to Him with a humble heart and ask Him to bless you with a righteous husband.

If the custom in your country is that a previously married woman [deflowered] does not remarry, then Allah may invalidate this custom, or you may find a man from another country who would accept you as a wife.

Hence, seek the help of some of your righteous Muslim sisters and be keen on keeping company with them, and attend circles of virtue with them and fill your time with what benefits you.

Additionally, you may fast, because by fasting you gain piety and suppress your desires. ‘Abdullah ibn Mas’ood narrated that the Prophet told them: “O young people! Whoever can marry should marry, as it helps one lower their gaze, and protects one’s private parts, and whoever is not able to marry should fast, as this helps him preserve his private parts (from committing illegal sexual intercourse).” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

There is no doubt that the woman's need for a man is something that is instilled in her Fitrah (natural predisposition upon which Allah created mankind). However, this does not mean that she strives to achieve this by any means, whether it is lawful or forbidden, because Allah has prohibited such forbidden relationships. Allah Says (what means): {…neither [of] those who commit unlawful intercourse randomly nor those who take [secret] lovers.} [Quran 4:25]

Allah did not make adultery or fornication a means of satisfying one’s desires. Rather, Allah warned us against it and threatened us against it, as Allah Says (what means): {And do not approach unlawful sexual intercourse.…} [Quran 17:32]

For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 257938, 262615, 87151, 335746, and 118474.

Allah knows best.