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Fatwa CenterHow to Deal With A Disobedient Wife
Question
What to do if a wife does not want to come to his husband when he calls her to bed? Is he obliged to provide for her (give food and/or shelter) if she denies to share his bed? How can he discipline her? Can the husband divorce such a wife in such a case?
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
If a woman refrains from obeying her husband without an excuse, such as being ill, then she is considered a disobedient wife. Allah Almighty shows us the way to rectify her behavior; He Almighty Says (what means): {...But those [wives] from whom you fear arrogance - [first] advise them; [then if they persist], forsake them in bed; and [finally], strike them. But if they obey you [once more], seek no means against them. Indeed, Allah is ever Exalted and Grand. And if you fear dissension between the two, send an arbitrator from his people and an arbitrator from her people. If they both desire reconciliation, Allah will cause it between them. Indeed, Allah is ever Knowing and Acquainted [with all things].} [Quran 4:34-35]
A disobedient wife does not deserve to be spent on unless she starts obeying him again. The husband is not obliged to do anything in response to the disobedience of his wife; he may choose to divorce her or to live with her despite her disobedience.
Allah Knows best.
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