Home
Discover Islam
Quran Recitations
Lectures
Fatwa
Articles
Fiqh
E-Books
Women
Boys & Girls 
Enter Question
View By Subject
Fatwa Of The Week
Selected Fatwa
Fatwa CenterOverwhelmed by Sexual Thoughts but Unable to Marry
Question
This is a difficult and very embarrassing question for me to ask, but I need help. Please pardon any crudeness. I am a young, single woman living in the United States, a recent convert, by the grace of Allah. Frequently I have extremely vivid sexual dreams about young men. When I wake up in the morning I feel terribly guilty, almost as if I have actually committed Zina, and vow to purge my mind of this, but it comes back over and over again. Sometimes it only takes a single glimpse of an attractive young man, not even a second look, to start up these thoughts again. I try fasting and reading the Qur'an, but frequently it doesn't work to keep the feelings away. At times I even resort to masturbation. Sometimes I curse myself as being no better than a Zania (whore), but the Qur'an says, "So lose not heart, nor fall into despair, for you must gain mastery, if you are true in faith." (3:139) and "O my servants who have transgressed against their souls! Despair not of the Mercy of Allah: for Allah forgives all sins: for He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful." (39:53) I was brought up with all the "benefits" of a so-called "sexually liberated" culture, such as sex education, explicit entertainment, and the like, which only exacerbates my situation. I feel enslaved by my sexual desires, not liberated by them. As to the command for marriage, unfortunately I know very few Muslim men, as of yet, and I do not think I would be able to marry anytime soon, given my current situation as a poor university student. What do you suggest a girl like me do in this difficult situation?
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
First of all, we praise Allah who guided us and you to the right path and we would not have been guided to this if Allah did not wish so. We ask Allah to keep us and you steadfast on his religion and give us the will to resist all temptations.
As for what happens to you while you are sleeping, then you are not held responsible for it as it is beyond your will. So, you should not feel guilty for it. We advise you, however, to perform ablution before sleeping and recite the supplications that the Muslim is supposed to recite before sleeping. Repent to Allah from everything you committed and keep struggling against evil and meditate about the verse which you mentioned, in which Allah Says (what means): {Say, “O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah. Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful.”} [Quran 39:53]
We advise you also to try to get some pious Muslim women friends and state to them your desire to marry a pious Muslim man and ask them to help you get that. You could also contact the Islamic centers in your area and seek their help.
We ask Allah to ease all your problems and provide you with a righteous and pious husband.
Allah knows best.
Search Fatwa
Fatwa Subject
