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Fatwa CenterWants to marry over parent's objection
Question
I am a Muslim living in Germany as a student. For about 1.5 years since I arrived in Germany I have relation with a non-Muslim girl but who has understanding for my religion. I know that my religion allows me to marry but right now I’m really concerned about my parents who I’m sure will not accept it if I marry her. I’m trying to tell her about Islam without forcing her, wishing that she will convert to Islam one day, Insha Allah. She has a good character and she shows every sign of a Muslimah except that she is not. We are planning to get married in January in an Islamic way which she accepted without condition. We talk about the education of our children which is really important for me and she accepted too that our children, Insha Allah will be raised only in an Islamic way. Does Islam allow me to marry her even though it will never please my parents? I know the importance of parents in Islam, that’s why I’m so lost and confused. I’ve done already many Salat Istihakare to ask Allah to help me in my choice and decision and to show me the right way about this issue. In case Allah's answer is that I should marry her, what will be my position between Allah and my parents? Will Allah not give me his Rahmah because my parents are not happy with me?
Answer
Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds; and may His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions.
Before answering your question, know that it is unlawful for you to establish any relation with a woman who is alien to you (not Mahram) beyond the boundaries of legal marriage. In fact such a relation is a path that Satan uses to spread perversion, corruption and loudness. However, there is no objection to your calling her to Islam provided you avoid all Haram deeds that may happen in this process such as looking at her, staying in seclusion with her, being lenient in speech and similar acts. Despite this, it is better that Muslim ladies call her to Islam instead of you. As for your question, know that obedience of one's parents is given priority over marrying a given woman. So, we advise you to try to convince your parents to accept your marriage to this lady after she becomes a Muslim. If they accept, that is what you wanted; otherwise look for another lady.
Finally, know that whoever leaves something for Allah's Sake, Allah replaces it with something better, and the pleasure of Allah is in the pleasure of the parents.
Allah knows best.
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