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Father Rejects Son Who Did Not Accept Woman Proposed by Him (Father)

Question

Is it right for a father to reject his son and put him away from his family, if he does not accept to marry the woman who the father has previously made an engagement to?

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

Being kind towards one's parents is an obligation. Allah Says (what means): {And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents.} [Quran 17:23] The Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) warns against being undutiful to one's parents and said in this regard: “The parent is the middle door of Paradise. Lose that door if you wish or preserve it.” Therefore, a Muslim should spare no efforts to be kind and dutiful to his parents and should try his best to please them without disobeying Allah. If they want to marry him with a particular woman, but he is not interested in her, then he may reject her kindly and amiably. He should try to convince his parents to allow him to marry a woman of his choice. However, if they do not agree with him though he has made all his efforts to convince them, then he is no longer obliged to obey them in this particular matter. Shaykh Ibn Taymiyyah  may  Allaah  have  mercy  upon  him wrote in his Al-Fataawa al-Kubra: “Parents do not have the right to force their children to marry someone they do not like. If they reject their proposal they are not considered disobedient. It is like forcing them to eat what they dislike.” [End of quote]

So, a parent is not allowed to desert his son for not marrying the woman he had proposed. If he cuts his relation with his son for this reason he commits a sin, and the sin becomes severe and repulsive if he denies his son. The Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: “Whoever denies his son after knowing him, Allah will not look at him and will humiliate him in front of the former and future generations.” [Al-Daarimi and others]

Allah knows best.

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