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Fatwa CenterContinues a love relationship with a staunch non-Muslim man
Question
I living in a multi-racial society, I am prone to meeting people outside my races and regard them as friends. Unfortunately, this has allowed me to fall in love with a Kafir who is willing to stand by me through everything, except entering my religion because he does not believe in one. He is a good person and my mother thinks the same way too.
As much as we love each other, we knew that there is no future as he is not willing to enter a religion. That is why we are now mere friends, after realizing his unwillingness to convert. He keeps persuading me to give up my religion which I had told him clearly I will not do so and I will always choose my religion over our love. However, this hurts us both because we know that it is with each other we hope to be together in the future God willing.
I pray everyday to Allaah to open his heart but it seemed of no use as he is a staunch non-believer who has discarded his own religion. And I know that people who discard their religions will not have a peaceful life, and for this I fear for him. Sometimes I cry thinking of the parallel roads that separate us both because of religions.
My reasons for a religion sounds unacceptable and unreasonable to him. Can you give me advice how to enlighten him further, while not shaking my own 'Eemaan? I have exhausted my reasons to convince him. I fear everyday that I may lose my faith to Allaah though I know I will not.
I think I have a weak faith living in a multi-racial society where religions are being moderated by governmental pressures and this troubled me. I do not wish to wear a headscarf yet as I am afraid that I may take it off sooner or later, and that is not permissible right?
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.
We have told a sister in a question similar to yours, that in Islam there is no such relations between a man and a marriageable woman outside the bond of marriage.
Therefore it is forbidden for you to establish a relationship with this young man or any other man even if he is a Muslim, as illustrated above. Such a relationship could lead to forbidden matters like committing fornication, etc. (We seek refuge in Allaah from that). The fact that he is studying with you does not make this relationship permissible. See Fatwa: 88220.
You have to immediately end all your relations with this man who is a disbeliever and tempting you to commit apostasy.
If being away from him is not possible except by moving from that place or leaving your job then you have to do so for the sake of your religion.
In fact, a Muslim woman should take the matter of her religion very seriously since she will be held accountable in front of Allaah for her every deed. Keep remembering that this life is very short and very soon everyone will stand in front of Allaah; at that time a father, mother, children (let alone all others) will flee from their beloved ones and at that movement only your good deeds and love of Allaah will benefit you. Do not forget that our bodies cannot bear Hellfire. If you love Allaah and regard His rulings, Allaah will grant you better than what you have left seeking His pleasure. Allaah says (which means): {And for those who fear Allaah, He (ever) prepares a way out and he provides for him from (sources) he never could expect.}[Qur'an 65:2-3]. Finally to know the rulings of Hijab read our Fataawa: 81935 and 86341.
Allaah knows best.
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