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Fatwa CenterFamily dispute over a relative's marriage
Question
My family name are going through a really a bad phase and a hard trial. My brother stays in Puna for his studies with my aunt, my aunts niece who is 21 year old is not of a good character stays in the same colony of my aunt so my aunt sometimes meets her. One day we came to know from my aunt that my brother is seeing this girl so my mother confronted him and asked him about this he just simply refused it by saying that there is nothing like that she [my aunt] is simply always doubting me. We trusted him and didn't tell or take any further action just because we had full trust in him and knew that he wouldn't do such a thing may she (my aunt) has misunderstood. Now some months passed by my aunt called up and says that he is still seeing her so my mother left to Puna over there he took my in full confidence and totally denied it and also promised that he is not doing anything like that my mother had full faith in him and left him and told all of us here that there is nothing like that. On 26th April my brother gave us a shock of our life he came home said I have done Nikaah with that girl and now she is legally my wife if you all want please accept the truth and gave us the Nikaah nama papers and left the home immediately. We were so shocked that we didn't know what to do. My brother didn't call us after that. And we don't know what to do now we want him back but he should give her divorce and then come back he has become completely blind he does not know what he is doing that girl will not stay with him longer but till that time it will become to late where he starts the family and then it becomes more difficult to separate them that girl cannot be accepted in our family because of her character and her bad family background her mom also did the same thing during her marriage the daughter and mother the same. Now we don't know what to do we are totally helpless we want to pressurize him and separate them by hitting him and by doing anything else that is possible we know that this marriage wont last longer but by the time he realizes it will be too late. I wanted to know whether by pressurizing the person can we do the Talaaq will this be a valid Talaaq? Please give me solution to this problem as soon as possible. I had asked this question in your Fatwa but they couldn't help me you are my last hope please help me urgently this is a very serious problem for us.
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.
If this woman is as you mentioned in the question - that she is a woman of bad religion and bad moral conduct, and she has not repented - then in our view this brother should be advised in good words and in a gentle manner to divorce her. He should be reminded of the saying of the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam : "There are three types of people who would make a supplication and it will not be accepted from them: a man whose wife is of a bad moral character and he did not divorce her…"
There is no harm in advising him to seek the help of those who are close to him and the help of righteous and pious people who can convince him. It might be that he will divorce her if either of his parents orders him to do so – in which case it would be obligatory for him to obey them. However, if he does not fulfill their command, then it is not permissible for anyone else to oblige him to divorce her as this would worsen the relationship, cause more enmity and hatred, and lead to the cutting of relations and other unpleasant consequences. Besides, one should endeavor to advise this woman and turn her into a righteous one.
As regards to being pressured into divorcing one's wife, the divorce takes place if one has an alternative which does not have dire consequences. However, if he is under compulsion and fears much harm, like being killed, severely beaten or imprisoned for a long time, then in such cases divorce does not take place when he utters it [under such compulsion].
Allaah Knows best.
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