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Her father is abusive to her mother

Question

I wanted to ask you that my father fight all the time with my mom he hits her and us children also he has been doing this for all the time he has been married her its been 25 years since he married her he doesn't follow the Islam properly but want everything from my mom that Islam says to do for a man a husband but doesn't care abut her rights my house is no Baraqa there every time everyone is angry at each other we pray five times a day is it ok for my mom to live with someone who doesn't care about women's right given by Islam. Please tell me know soon.

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.

First of all, it is not permissible for a husband to beat his wife or children without a sound religious reason otherwise this is an injustice. So, if your father is as you mentioned that he is unjust to your mother and does not fulfil her rights, and he beats you unjustly, then he was really wrong and misbehaved. Nevertheless, we advise you to be patient with him and supplicate Allaah as much as possible to rectify his affairs. You should also seek the help of the pious, righteous and knowledgeable relatives and others so that they would advise him and remind him of Allaah and of his obligation to be kind to his wife and children; it might be that he will take heed. However, if he still insists on what he is doing, and your mother can be patient with him and stay with him, then it is up to her as divorce is not necessarily the best solution. Indeed many disadvantages may happen because of divorce, like the breaking up of the family and the spoiling of the children, so it might be better to opt for the lesser harm which is to be patient and stay with him. Yet, if she is unable to stay with him and considers that it is better to opt for divorce, she may ask him to divorce her as there is a rule which reads: one should not cause harm to himself or cause harm to others.

Finally, the following should be noted:

1) Even if the father is unjust to his children, they are still obliged to be kind and dutiful to him.

2) Even if the husband is unjust to his wife, she is still obliged to obey him in what is permissible.

Allaah Knows best.

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