I had a relationship with a girl and after more than a year I found out that she is Christian. I did not ask her about her religion since her name is common name among both Muslims and Christians. I can not leave her; so I asked her to embrace Islam, but she refused. The reason behind her rejection was her belief that Christianity is the religion of love and tolerance; as it is declared in the Bible: 'Love your enemies and bless your cursers,' unlike Islam that ordains you to respond to the offence with its like. She told me that if I could prove the opposite of her claim, she is willing to embrace Islam. What should I do? Could you, please, guide me to the Quranic verses that call for love, especially towards the enemies? I could not leave her.

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His Slave and Messenger.

Dear brother, bear in mind that there are many methods of Christianization that are accompanied by numerous means, the most effective and strongest of which is women and other temptations so as to allure Muslim youth who are away from their religion. The girl would start making malicious allegations about Islam. In fact, what proves it is that she knew that you are Muslim and yet did not mention or show that she is Christian for a whole year! Indeed, this proves that she waited until she was sure that she got you under her full control and then told you that she is Christian, bringing up such sophistry about Islam. Do you really believe that if you loved her she would embrace Islam? In fact, she would not; for she has countless similar questions and malicious allegations, that are as naïve as that one, that would drive those who are rather ignorant of their own religion to be confused and puzzled over and over again.

You should know that Islam applies justice in governing people's affairs and in judging among people; therefore, Islam sets general principles and rules on which the edifice of Muslim society would be founded. Islam enjoins justice in treating enemies; Allaah The Almighty Says (what means): {and do not let the hatred of a people prevent you from being just. Be just; that is nearer to righteousness. And fear Allaah; indeed, Allaah is Acquainted with what you do.} [Quran 5:8] Moreover, Islam enjoins Muslims to resort to forgiveness and kindness towards those who offend them; Allaah The Almighty Says (what means): {Take what is given freely, enjoin what is good, and turn away from the ignorant.} [Quran 7:199] Additionally, Allaah The Exalted Says (what means): {and who restrain anger and who pardon the people – and Allaah loves the doers of good} [Quran 3:134]

Islam ordains Muslims to respond to offense with kindness; Allaah The Exalted Says (what means): {Repel, by [means of] what is best, [their] evil. We are most knowing of what they describe.} [Quran 23:96] Allaah The Exalted also Says (what means): {And not equal are the good deed and the bad. Repel [evil] by that [deed] which is better; and thereupon the one whom between you and him is enmity [will become] as though he was a devoted friend.} [Quran 41:34]

It is true that Islam permitted responding to the offense with an equivalent one, however, Muslims are urged to resort to forgiveness and reconciliation; Allaah The Almighty Says (what means): {And the retribution for an evil act is an evil one like it, but whoever pardons and makes reconciliation – his reward is [due] from Allaah. Indeed, He does not like wrongdoers.} [Quran 42:40]

As for what that lady mentioned, is it appropriate for maintaining justice among people or is it plain servility and subservience that encourages dissolute and profligate people to be bold enough to offend good and righteous people? They say that if one slaps you on your right cheek, turn your face for him to slap you on the left cheek! They say that if a thief stole your shirt, give him your loincloth! How odd is that? How can one approve giving up due rights and violating the sacred ordinances of Allaah The Exalted and rather bless these thieves and even encourage them to go further in their injustice and tyranny? What logic is that? Is this lady willing to turn her face for the one who slaps her on her right cheek to slap her on the left cheek?

We advise you first of all to repent to Allaah The Exalted from having this impermissible relationship with that girl, and the first condition of repentance is to break up with her immediately, then you should regret your sin, and resolve that you would not commit such a sin again. You must shun listening to such malicious allegations about Islam from non-believers and dissolute people; for it may incur disparaging repercussions on those who are not informed enough about Islam. Finally, we beseech Allaah The Exalted in supplication to grant us and you means of salvation and guide us to the straight path.

Allaah Knows best.