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Fatwa CenterHow to deal with an irresponsible and neglectful husband
Question
Assalaimalaikm,
Im a married muslim,age 23. we got married almost 2yrs back..my husband is also a muslim.. During past 2 yrs i have come to know my husband is really irresponsible..he takes the easy way out.. we r both studying in abroad away from my family n friends..my husbands priority are internet,footabll, friends & swimming..even when i want to talk, he doesnt listen to me..he says he can multi task n plays games while i talk, n later on he does not remember..with the family problems back at home i really need to talk, n he is not there for me...even if we have plans 2 go anywhere, if his friends call to play he cancels our plans..he believes i cheat, saying my boyfriend is my male muslim friend.. to whom i have stopped talking recently coz its my husbands wishes..if we have a problem also my husband doesnt wana talk..he ignores it..if i try to talk he gets mad..even if i cry he doesnt comfort me at all..he gets angry but wont say anything loud..if he say something it will be something2 hurt me(like one time he called me poison tongue ) ..then he stops talking to me..sometimes it will be 3-4 days but now its become more.. even 7-12 days..n sometimes he sleeps in the living room couch during these days..my husband does not pray.. he prays once in a while..I have started praying regularly n reciting Quran as much as i can everyday..now my husband wishes to live in hostel, both in different hostels for next 2 yrs..he says we are happy, both have our freedom to do what ever we want..
i really dont feel this is a real marriage with these kinda problems..i cant imagine how i'll live with him when we have kids n start a real life...what can i do to make things better .. and is it wrong to think of a divorce?
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
If your husband is as you mentioned in the question, then he is not having good marital relationship with you and he is contravening the Order of Allaah Who Says (what means): {And live with them in kindness.}[Quran 4:19], and he is contravening the saying of the Prophet : "Treat women kindly as they are like captives in your hands.” What is even worse than this is that you mentioned that he does not perform the prayer; by this he is committing one of the grave major sins, and some scholars 
are of the view that if a person deliberately abandons one single prayer, he goes out of the fold of Islam; for more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 85264.
Therefore, we first advise you to be patient with your husband and earnestly supplicate Allaah to guide him, and admonish him in a good and soft manner. It is also permissible to seek the help of some righteous people in this regard if necessary. Then, if he rectifies his relationship with you and with Allaah, then praise be to Allaah, however, if he continues on his misguidance and continues to be unjust to you, then you have the right to ask for divorce especially if he persists to abandon the prayer because there is no good for you in staying married with a husband who does not pray. If he accepts and divorces you, then this is what is required, otherwise you should take the matter to one of the Islamic centres in your area. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 89039.
As regards your studies, you should look for a means to continue studying in your country near your family.
Allaah Knows best.
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