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Fatwa CenterHer husband seems unhappy with her being overweight
Question
Beauty: Assalamulaikum I have had a love marriage and am married to my husband for last 7 year. I have hamdulillah, by the race of Allah 3 children. Before my marriage and before i gave birth to my kids I was thin as any normal young girl, but due to the bithr of my children I have relativly gained weight which I am not able to help myself with. I have tried doing many things an I just need to lose few kilos to become normal but still my pregnancy belly some not diappear. My husband seems not to be happy with my appearence snd is embaressed to relate me to himself outside to strangers, does not like to acompany me and my kids anywhere. His love has come down with every childs birth and it is very upsetting to me as I do not get the happiness of being with him.. He even get attracted to women outside and I cannot do anything about it. I really want to know if I deserve such kind of behaviour from my husband as I did not wish to put myself in such situation. Children are a gift from Allah and only thing I feel sad about is my health did not have a +ve response from pregnancy and my hemoglobin level ecame very high due to which I am a little swollen. what shall I do in such case? please advice. I really want my husband to love me and take care of me rather just ignore me and leave me on my own to live this married life. I am being the father and the moether to my 3 children by bearing all their espenses and taking them out for their happiness. My husband never accopanies us. I feel sad looking at other women who always are with their husbands no matter how fat or less beautifull they are. I am not so ugly but may be ugly for my husband. I just want my husband to lok at me with love and not disgrace. Please help me and advice.
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
First of all, we advise you to be patient with your husband and you should seek the Help of Allaah by supplicating Him to reconcile between both of you.
Secondly, your husband should be reminded that he should not hate his wife just because of a moral or physical defect in her, as she might have many things that he likes in her. It is for this reason that the Prophet said: “A believing man should not hate a believing woman (i.e. his wife), if he hates one of her characters, he will be pleased with another.” [Muslim]
Thirdly, this matter (obesity and being overweight) is something that can be treated, and it is permissible to remove the excess fat with any permissible means including carrying out liposuction when necessary. Removing an excess that occurs to the body is not changing Allaah’s creation. However, you should take into consideration the pre-conditions for the treatment of women which we clarified in Fatwa 82093.
Fourthly, a husband is obliged to keep good marital relationships with his wife as he is religiously ordered to do so, and hating her should not prevent him from fulfilling her rights on him, among which is spending on her and on her children with reasonable grounds; for more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 89170.
In any case, we advise your husband to fear Allaah and have good marital relationships with you.
Allaah Knows best.
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