assalamu alikom, my sister asks about my husband every time when i talk with her, she talk to my husband when she comes here(we live with my parents), she jokes so that it makes my husband laugh with her, she bring food for him, and she talks about my husband to her husband when she wants to make him jealous. i cant say to her stop that, cos she will enjoy from that she made me feel jealous or affraid. i dont mind my husband eating food of anybody else, but when he eat food of my sister, then i feel like she give him gift of love and he accept it every time. its starting to feel like some secret love as he always talks kindly to her INSTEAD OF SHOWING COLD FEELING TO MAKE HER STOP. i dont think it should be me who go "between them", i think my husband doesent have to respond to her things. i am not cooking to my husband as we live in my parents house and my mother is here who cooks. he is not without food, and i would cook in my own house. every time when i say to him about my sadness, he becomes angry to me. he compares me to my sister in everything: way of talking, cooking, living.. and she wears short clothes, and i wear long and bigger but my husband always support me to wear shorter and he dont want me to cover too much (khimar etc). these things really make me feel very very sad and bad wife. my husband is gambling and lieing and blaming me about everything that is bad in his life. i dont have anyone who can help me here, as we live in western country. i feel that he started to do more bad things, and i lost all my trust in him. i affraid now where he goes after school. he dont mind transporting women in his car and talk with them, and his excuse is: "we live in western country". i dont understand why he talks to women as kindly as to me. he wants to move to capital, and he doesent accept compromise that we move to closer city from my parents, as it will be easier and better for my health, then he blames me that we will live here(country) forever.

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.

Your husband is a non-Mahram to your sister and so is she to him; it is on this basis that they should treat each other. It is not permissible for him to talk to her except for a necessity while observing the requirements of Sharee'ah in regard to the manner of talking with each other and so forth. However, it is not permissible for him to joke and laugh with her.

Moreover, it is not permissible for your sister to show any of her adornments in front of your husband, and she should not talk to her husband about your husband as this may lead her to be tempted by your husband and to some problems between her and her husband. This also applies to her giving food to your husband as if it was a gift for him; all this along with your feeling and your husband's behaviour are a means of evil and corruption.

In any case, your husband as well as your sister need someone to advise them and remind them of Allaah and clarify to them that they are wrong as they transgress the limits of the Sharee’ah. It is someone who is expected to influence them who should advise them.

On the other hand, if what you mentioned in your question is true that your husband gambles, then he is committing a grave sin as Allaah Says (what means): {Indeed, intoxicants, gambling, [sacrificing on] stone alters [to other than Allaah], and divining arrows are but defilement from the work of Satan, so avoid it.}[Quran 5:90] For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 122699.

Among the evil matters that he also does, is talking to women and taking them in his car, or ordering you to take off your Hijab and not dress properly. Of course, it is not permissible for you to obey him in this regard; rather, you are obliged to stick to your Hijab as there is no obedience to a creature in disobeying Allaah; for more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 89815.

In any case, if your husband continues to act as he does, you have the right to ask him for divorce because the dissoluteness of a husband is a sound reason for the wife to ask for divorce or Khul’; for more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 88408.

However, as long as you remain in marriage with your husband, you are obligated to obey him in moving to reside with him where he resides, and it is not permissible for you to refuse that unless you have a sound reason. Being near your family and thinking that it is easier for you and better for your health are not a sound reason to refuse to travel. Moreover, travelling to reside far from your parents could be a solution to what happens between your husband and your sister.

As regards him provoking you about living in that country all your life, or angering you by comparing you to your sister, then all this is contradictory to having good marital relationships with one's wife, which is Islamically ordained; Allaah Says (what means): {And due to them [i.e. the wives] is similar to what is expected to them, according to what is reasonable.}[Quran 2:228]

Finally, we warn you against accusing your husband of some matters about which you have no evidence like your statement “…starting to feel like some secret love…”, and your statement “…I am afraid now where he goes after school.” Indeed, such suspicion may lead you to unpleasant consequences. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 89109.

Allaah Knows best.