Assalamo Alaikum wa Rahmatullah . I have been married for 11 yrs and have 4 children . . 2 boys and 2 girls . My husband has left the home and has asked me that he wants separation or divorce . The reason is that he has started believing we are different people based on my religious commitments . He wants modern life style . He does not want me to abide strictly by dos and don'ts of Islam . He wants me to be modern like his friends wives , not feel bad about his going to music clubs , and use alcohol , he wants to listen to loud music that I am not comfortable with . I am doing hifdz of Quran and a student of knowledge . Ever since I started it seriously I cannot listen to music , and cover myself in hijab before going out . I teach my children deen and tell even their friends about Allah and Allah's rights etc etc I must tell u that this is very difficult for me to absorb because I have always forgiven my husband's very big mistakes in past . He forged the bank documents in 2003 and was jailed for 2 yrs . I stayed with my parents and fought his case and got him released with Allah 's will . Alhamdulillah . After coming out within 6 months my brother got him job , he started cheating on me when real estate industry bloomed and he got lots of money , his life style changed and he started coming home late in the nights , I came to know that he had girl friend's and he went to prostitute too . It was difficult for me to comprehend but I tried to compromise . I am a post graduate degree holder in sciences an have myself kept well for him . In 2008 the recession made it worse when my cheques started bouncing and started recieving calls from banks ( he opened his own real estate company , on my name because of his passport still with court for civil case) he used to ask me to sign entire blank cheque book . When ever I asked him he said to mind my own business . but unfortunately to my amaze I had police case worth 2 million dirhams . I was wanted by the police . My fathe
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.
First of all, we ask Allaah to reward you for being keen on being steadfast on the obedience of Allaah and nurturing your children on goodness and virtue, so you should continue doing so. We also ask Allaah to make us and you firm and steadfast on the truth until death as He is The All-Hearer and He answers supplications.
If your husband is as you mentioned, that he consumes intoxicants, has girlfriends and listens to music, then he is a bad man and disobedient to his Lord. Therefore, it is an obligation to advise him in a kind and gentle manner and remind him of Allaah while supplicating Allaah to enable him to repent and to guide him to the straight path. If he repents, then praise be to Allaah, otherwise it is better to separate from him and ask him for divorce as there is no good in keeping marital relationship with such a husband.
As regards separation without divorce, then this is possible if you both agree on it but we do not advise you to do so. However, such separation is not considered as divorce no matter how long its duration is as clarified in Fataawa 82214 and 82732.
Again, divorcing such a husband is better as we already mentioned. For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 120659 and 92681.
Nonetheless, you should have been more careful and not been lenient with your husband regarding financial matters and signing cheques carelessly. Indeed, it is such lenience that led you to what you are experiencing now.
Finally, we advise you to first supplicate Allaah to facilitate your matter and make a way for you to get out of your difficulties. Then, you may seek the help of some rational men from your family and his – or from others – in order to discuss the matter of these cheques, paying them and getting rid of their consequences.
Allaah Knows best.
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