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Fatwa CenterDo not let marital problems lead you to sin
Question
hi I am 33 years old and have been married for just over 2 years. I have been arguing with my wife since even when we were not married. but for some reason my heart chose her. I did numerous Istıkharas and it ended up like this. recently we have been having arguments again and she even told me that if I want we can get divorced. saying this I have been approached by another lady who told me that she likes me. she is pretty and very attractive. my heart has been searching for other things since my wife has been the biggest disapointment in my life. she argues about almost everything and this pushes me away from her although I love her very much. our bedroom life has also taken a dive as understandably. I am young and have needs. not just physical but also emotional. I dont want to leave my wife as I wouldnt want her to be devastated. but in the mean time I am very miserable and have been a bit rebellious both religiously and mentally. I couldnt even look at other women before but now started thinking about being with other women. the way I see it, I come to Dunya once and if not going to enjoy it whats the point. I dontwant to have any regrets. My wife was the first woman I been with and have tried to safe myself until marrying her. now I see it, I want to enjoy mylife coz I am very dipressed and miserable and this can effect me in my namaz and zikr. I desperately need help. this lady is married but not happy with her husband. he treats her very badly apparently. my heart wants her but my İmaan says fear Allah. but I dont know how much more I can be patient. I am not a bad person and feared Allah all this time. but more my wife pushes me out more my eyes looks elsewhere. I am so confused.
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His Slave and Messenger.
If your life with your wife is as you have mentioned, full of arguing and there is no way for reconciliation, then you can keep the bond of marriage with her and take a second wife if you are able to deal justly (with them) for it is a prerequisite for polygyny as explained in Fataawa 95416 and 81469. This is the first option.
The second option is that you divorce her and marry another woman. But, if you keep things the way they are now, then this will lead to much corruption for your religion and worldly life as well. This is not how wise and sane people behave. You have to beware of letting your eyes wander freely at women who are unlawful for you or taking girlfriends. What benefit will you gain if you committed a sin - to enjoy your life as you claim - while the end of that will be great regret in this life and on the Day of Resurrection?
So do not be deceived by the deception of Iblees (Satan). Allaah The Almighty Says (what means):
• {O children of Adam, let not Satan tempt you as he removed your parents from Paradise, stripping them of their clothing to show them their private parts. Indeed, he sees you, he and his tribe, from where you do not see them. Indeed, We have made the devils allies to those who do not believe.}[Quran 7: 27]
• {Indeed, Satan is an enemy to you; so take him as an enemy. He only invites his party to be among the companions of the Blaze.}[Quran 35: 6]
As for that married woman, you have to keep away from her and beware of having any relationship with her so that you do not turn her against her husband, as that is a grave sin. You may refer to Fatwa 92056 about the prohibition of spoiling the relationship between a wife and her husband.
Allaah Knows best.
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