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Fatwa CenterHer husband is a violent narcissist who doesn't pray
Question
Assalamu alaikum, What can i do when i can not get divorce in my country from my husband? I live in Finland. I have asked from several islamic center in my country but all of them stopped helping me even i have proved that my husband have already other fiancee and i have picture where he is touching her even they are not married. I have also much messages from him where he uses bad language and says that he will divorce from me. We have 2 years old daughter. She is with me. Me and my husband haven't been living together since january because he is violent and police have also stated that. I have pictures of bruises made by him. Our doughter have been suffering from that situation. My husband is not following his religion, he is not praying and he has much bad habits. He made it difficult for me too to practise my new religion islam, as i was orthodox before, 5 years ago. Please help me to continue my life with my daughter safely without my husband, and advice me to deal with narcissistic father of my child. He is acting to outsiders that he is kind and good person but closer people knows that he isn't. I don't have any paper of marriage. Imam from islamic center married us. If you want more details i am happy to give it.
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His Slave and Messenger.
What you can do is to try first to rectify your husband. The best thing that can help you in this regard is to supplicate Allaah The Almighty for him for He The Exalted is able to do all things and everything is easy for Him. So, despair not and remind him of the gravity of the matter of prayer in particular for it prohibits immorality and wrongdoing. For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 84235and 88016.
You can also seek the help of some good people whom you believe that they may have an effect on him for he may accept advice. If he does that, then this will be good for him, you and the children. In general, divorce has bad consequences, leads to the disintegration of family, losing children and real life is the best proof for that.
If he remains as he is and does not change for the better, then it is more appropriate for you to seek divorce from him. You can seek the help of all those who can help you to convince him to divorce you and keep convincing those who are responsible for the Islamic centers to help you get divorce from him even if in return for a compensation you pay to him, which is called Khul‘. For more information, kindly refer to Fatwa 89039.
If that is not possible for you and there is another way to be divorced from him via the courts of man-made laws, then there is no blame on you to refer the matter to them for referring cases to them at the times of necessity is allowed.
As for what you mentioned of his narcissism, we firstly confirm what we have mentioned previously which is to supplicate Allaah The Almighty to make him get rid of it. Also, be patient and ask Allaah The Almighty to guard you against his evil. Abu Moosa Al-Ash‘ari 
narrated that whenever the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, was afraid of a people, he would say: “Allaahumma innaa Naj‘aluka fi Nuhoorihim wa Na‘oothu bika min Shuroorihim (O Allaah, we ask You to seize them by their throats and we seek refuge with You from their evil).” [Abu Daawood]
Finally, we draw attention to the following:
Firstly, treating the wife kindly is something obligatory. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 88304.
Secondly, if divorce takes place, then the mother has right to custody of her children so long as she does not remarry and if she remarries, then custody is transferred to the female who is most entitled to that after her as we have pointed out in Fatwa 86891.
Thirdly, be keen on seeking beneficial knowledge, doing righteous deeds and seeking the company of good Muslim women so that you may cooperate with them in righteousness and piety.
Allaah Knows best.
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