Home
Discover Islam
Quran Recitations
Lectures
Fatwa
Articles
Fiqh
E-Books
Women
Boys & Girls 
Enter Question
View By Subject
Fatwa Of The Week
Selected Fatwa
Fatwa CenterIslam conversion should not be solely for objective of marriage
Question
As-salamu aleykum, I am Aparna, 21, Hindu. My boyfriend is Muslim, 21. We were friends for the past 5 years. We have been in a relationship for six months. I am ready to convert to Islam. I already started accepting that " there is no other god but Allah, and Muhammed is His last Messenger", but his family is against it. So many times they have warned him. They have even come to my home to speak to my family and warn me, but we started convincing his family that we brokeup. But we were caught when he gave me a gift with the quote "love u Appu". So this January they asked him to make a promise over Quran that he will never talk to me again. He tried to refuse, but his grandmother started saying that his whole family of grandparents, aunties, uncles and his parents will enter my home if he doesn't promise. My grandmother was recovering from a stroke, so we felt if they entered the home we would lose the life of my grandmother. Plus his grandmother fell on her feet to make him promise. He had no other choice, so he made a promise over Quran in front of his family and our friends. Now he still loves me. Insha Allah, I definitely know he will marry me or will stay a bachelor forever. Same-I will also marry him or none. So is there any way he can talk to me again? It will break the promise. I know it is a very big sin. But I can't imagine a life without him. Please guide me. Can he break the promise?
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
Our Prophet Muhammad said that marriage is the best solution for those in love. Ibn ‘Abbaas 
reported that the Prophet said: “There is nothing like marriage for two people in love.” [Ibn Maajah]
It is impermissible for a Muslim man to marry a non-Muslim woman unless she is chaste and belongs to the Jewish or Christian faith. Thus, if you sincerely accept Islam and observe the Islamic rites, such as prayer and the like, then it is permissible for this Muslim young man to marry you.
We advise you to hasten to accept Islam so as to attain happiness in the world and the Hereafter and avoid the ultimate loss of the afterlife. Allaah, The Exalted, says (what means): {And whoever desires other than Islam as religion - never will it be accepted from him, and he, in the Hereafter, will be among the losers.} [Quran 3:85]
Your conversion to Islam should not be conditional upon marrying that man. If you had embraced Islam and got married to him, then it would be alright, and if not, then you should think of your conversion to Islam as an independent objective that you never give up. We advise you to refer to the following Fataawa explaining that Islam is the true religion of Allaah; please refer to Fataawa 86091, 88906 and 88627.
As for your marriage to this young man - after your conversion to Islam - and his parents’ disapproval of that marriage, we have to say that he is enjoined to obey his parents in whatever constitutes obedience to Allaah. The basic principle is that he should obey his parents as underlined in Fatwa 86725. However, if his parents do not have a valid reason for disapproving of his marriage to you, and he feared temptation if he did not marry you, then it is permissible for him to marry you against their will. In this case, he should strive afterwards to win their pleasure and contentment. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 120515.
Scholars have stated the obligation of the children’s obedience to their parents is conditional to whether the parents benefit and the children are caused harm.
Finally, if you are not able to marry this man, then you should break up your relationship. There are plenty of potential spouses for both of you. Neither of you knows whether your marriage will be good for you. Allaah, The Exalted, says (what means): {… But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allaah Knows, while you know not.} [Quran 2:216] You have to put an end to your relationship because it is impermissible for a Muslim man to have a relationship with a non-Mahram woman. This is for the protection of their chastity and in order for both of them to avoid temptations as we explained in Fataawa 81356 and 84544.
Allaah Knows best.
Search Fatwa
Fatwa Subject
