Salaam, I have been married for 7 months and am currently 6 months pregnant. I knew my husband for 18 months before marriage. Before our marriage we got on very well. After we were engaged and then married we have been continiously arguing non stop, to the point our marriage is in shambles. No matter what I say or do my husband is never pleased with me. I try to be a good wife, fulfilling my wifely duties but he criticises everything about me. My husband does not pray or follow Islam in a strict way like others in his family. I have completed Umrah, I do my prayers as much as I can although I'm not perfect. Before marriage it was 5 times a day but due to being so ill in pregnancy I have been slacking in my prayers. I also do not wear hijab and never have done. My husband puts me down for not being a good muslim wife, he degrades my character labelling me 'white trash' and that I behave like a white kafr woman. He always brings up my past. He accuses me of looking at other men whenever we go out together. He also ciritices me for not wearing hijab and for not having no deen or imaan. When he chose me as his life partner he was fully aware I did not cover. I also don't associate with other men but for some reason he doubts me. When he says such things to me I really lose my temper and argue with him and our words get nasty. He says I have no respect for him or show him no love or affection. How can I when he behaves in this manner with me? My faith is very strong but I don't need to prove that to him, Allah knows what is in my heart. I am so unhappy and miserable in my marriage that I feel I want out. Where do I stand with this Islamically? My husband is a very insecure and paranoid man and it has become Hell living with him like this. It's also having an adverse affect on my pregnancy. Does he have the right to judge my faith in Allah and my prayers? Can he force me to cover against my will? I only want to carry out this step when I am ready. Please help me.

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and messenger.

We will answer your questions in the following points:

1- Criticizing the wife too much for insignificant reasons or despising her and so on, are contrary to living in kindness with the wife, which the husband is commanded to observe as legislated by his Lord. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 88304.

2- The prayer is the most important pillar after the two testimonies of faith and it is the relationship between a person and his Lord. Neglecting the prayer and delaying it after its prescribed fixed time is very serious. So, you should personally repent of this sin first, and then advise your husband and invite him to perform the prayer. For more benefit on the obligation of preserving the prayer, please refer to Fatwa 11207. Also, for more benefit on the conditions of repentance, please refer to Fatwa 86527.

3- It is not permissible for a man to make accusations concerning his wife's conduct without evidence. In principle, one's wife is deemed innocent until she is proven guilty. Even if it were presumed that she was proven guilty, he should advise her in a soft and gentle manner. It is with this manner that advice yields good results. Please refer to Fatwa 92529. However, we warn you here against raising your voice against your husband as this is considered disobedience. So, you should be patient about his provocations, if any.

4- The Hijab, which is covering the whole body – apart from the face and the hands – is an Islamic obligation on the Muslim woman according to the view of the majority of the jurists as we have already clarified in Fataawa 83033 and 84053. Woman must abide by Hijab even if her husband does not order her to do so. The obligation is even more emphatic if her husband orders her to wear Hijab, as, in Islam, the wife is enjoined to obey her husband in what is good. A Muslim does not know when he/she will die, so he/she should not delay repentance. Hijab that covers the whole body including the face and hands is a controversial issue. The view which we adopt here in Islamweb is that it is an obligation as well. A Muslim woman is obliged to abide by it especially if her husband orders her to do so. But the matter is less serious than the first [covering the whole body with the exception of the face and hands].

5- A man should educate his wife instead of criticizing her. He should guide her in a kind manner and take her to places of goodness, like circles of knowledge in Islamic Centers and the like. He should be a role model for her in doing good by him staying steadfast on the truth and uprightness. Allaah says (what means): {O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones, over which are [appointed] angels, harsh and severe; they do not disobey Allaah in what He commands them but do what they are commanded.}[Quran 66:6] Ibn 'Abbaas interpreted 'protect your families' as meaning, “teach them and discipline them.”

6- It is not permissible for a woman to ask her husband for divorce except in certain cases which the jurists have clarified. They are discussed in Fatwa 131953.

Allaah Knows best.