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Fatwa CenterHer husband wants to leave her with her children and live abroad with his mother
Question
Asalaam alaiykum - I hope you are able to help me with my query inshallah. My mother in law lives abroad on her own. She has family nearby but no one wishes to look after her because she is very suspicious and always accusing others of black magic. Her family have become fed up of her. She came to live with me and my husband but was always fighting with me accused me of doing magic and requested to return to Pakistan so she event back. Lately, she has had many arguments so there is no one to look after her. My husband has always provided for her and visits her frequently he is indeed dutiful towards her needs. My husband is now saying he wants to stay with her however we cannot move due to our home being in uk 3 children etc. in other words he is going to leave me, I will have to provide for myself I am currently working anyway but I am concerned as this means he will be away for quite some time and want to know what the islamic ruling is - he will not be providing financial support at all and not only that I'm concerned how his will affect our marriage and our children being away from their father. Please advise. My mother in law will not come to live with us she is insisting my husband comes to her.
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and messenger.
If it is true that this woman is as you have described, i.e. she is suspicious of others and accuses them of performing magic against her while she has no evidence for that, then it is obligatory to advise her to fear Allaah and not be unjust with others. She should also be informed of the evil consequences of what she is doing. However, the advice should be offered in a gentle and lenient manner, and this should be done by someone whom she expected to listen to.
For more information on the impermissibility of accusing others of performing magic without evidence, please refer to Fatwa 128834.
If it is not feared that that woman's basic needs will not be fulfilled in her country due to the unavailability of someone to take care of her, then her son is not obliged to return to reside with her. Indeed, the scholars have stated that it is only an obligation to obey the parents in matters that are beneficial to them without causing harm to the son/daughter.
If your husband wants to return to his country as a matter of dutifulness to his mother, then he may do so, and if he asks you to return with him, then you have to obey him, as the scholars have stated that it is obligatory for the wife to obey her husband in travelling with him wherever he wishes, as long as she does not have a legitimate reason preventing her from doing so. Imaam Maalik said in Al-Mudawwanah: “The husband is permitted to travel with his wife from a country to another even if she dislikes that.”
In case your husband decides to return to his country alone, it is permissible for him to leave you in the country, provided that you are safe, but he is not permitted to be away from you for more than six months without your consent. For more information, please refer to Fatwa 92496.
Moreover, the husband being away from his wife does not affect the validity of the marriage, even if he stays away for a long period of time. For more information, please refer to Fatwa 194909.
As regards the children's upbringing, it is the responsibility of both parents, and if the father travels away, the mother must assume this responsibility. When the father is away, he should contact his children and check up on them and give them guidance through the available means of communication.
He must also fulfill his duty to provide maintenance for his wife and children, as the wife is not obliged under Sharee‘ah to provide for herself and her children even if she is rich. In this regard, please refer to Fatwa 85593. In case he refuses to provide for you, you may take the matter to an Islamic court.
In conclusion, we recommend that you both have mutual understanding in this matter and try to solve the problem, and ensure that this will not be a cause of dissension as this could lead to separation, and thus, the loss of the children, as they are often and principally the major victims of divorce.
Allaah Knows best.
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