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Sinner should repent and conceal sin

Question

I will try to make my question as brief as possible. I have been in love with a girl for three years, and I sincerely love her and want to marry her. We have not had any physical relations. During this period, we have had good moments and bad moments, and there was a period when I committed adultery overseas with my colleagues, with two of them. I feel so guilty and ashamed of my act, and I have asked Allaah to forgive me for my sins, and I repented and will never do it again, even if I am alone or not committed. I regret my mistakes and am very worried about what I did. My question is: should I continue and marry her or leave her and move on and marry someone else? I do sincerely love her and want to marry her and be her husband in the right way so that Allaah will accept it. We have had problems, and she left me and does not want to talk to me anymore, and I feel that because of my own sins, Allaah took her away and I lost her. I hope that Allaah forgives me and makes her my righteous wife. I may be wrong about how I am thinking about all this. May Allaah forgive me and make it easier for me. Please help me, should I leave her or ask for her hand without telling anyone?

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

You have indeed taken the correct action as you repented to Allaah from having committed adultery; so we ask Allaah Almighty to accept your repentance, forgive your sins, and protect you in the future. Please, refer to fatwa 86527.

You must beware of mixing freely and socializing with non-mahram (marriageable) women and make sure to keep company with righteous people.

It is not clear to us what you mean by the statement at the end of your question, “ask for her hand without telling anyone”.

In any case, if this girl is religious and has a good moral character in general, meaning that she performs her religious duties, especially the prayer, and that she does not commit major sins, then there is nothing wrong with marrying her. You should perform the Istikharah prayer (guidance-seeking prayer) about marrying her. To learn how to perform it, please refer to fatwa 81434. If marriage is not facilitated with that girl, then leave her and look for another girl to marry, and there are many girls.

Finally, we would like to point out the following matters:

1- There are conditions for marriage that must be met so that the marriage would be valid; the most important of those is the presence and consent of the girl's guardian and the presence of two witnesses. In this regard, please refer to fatwa 83629.

2- Whoever commits a sin, along with repentance, is obliged to conceal his sin and not inform anyone else about it, as we have clarified in fatwa 84052.

Allaah knows best.

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