Home
Discover Islam
Quran Recitations
Lectures
Fatwa
Articles
Fiqh
E-Books
Women
Boys & Girls 
Enter Question
View By Subject
Fatwa Of The Week
Selected Fatwa
Fatwa CenterFeels guilty that she 'broke his heart'
Question
I’m a 19 year-old girl. I have been with my boyfriend for about a year and recently, something terrible happened. We have been having very close physical contact, and he went too far. He has been fingering me and it broke my virginity. After this incident, my view about him completely changed. I hate him now. I couldn’t value the relationship I had with him. So I broke up. I wish I never met him, and accepting his proposal was a big mistake. I really feel like I have betrayed my parents by not accepting their advice (as they were against the relationship with him). I’m too afraid to tell my parents what he did to me. Now I realize that they were caring about me so much and I was deaf. I now have made repentance to Allaah, and promised I will never have any relationship with a boy, until my parents think it’s time for my marriage, and arrange it for me. But the problem is, he says that he cannot live without me, and will not have any other girl in his life; and says I’m the cause for it. He loves me a lot. He has started proposing me again, and even apologized for his mistake. I have already forgiven him. But I can’t return to him again, as my parents never agree with that. (Because He’s not that much of a Muslim), I don’t; want to ignore them again. Infect I honestly don’t like to be with him again. He tells everyone that I have betrayed him and broken his heart. I feel guilty when he says that I broke his heart, and he’ll not have another girl in his life because of me.
Can you please help me in this situation? Have I done a sin by breaking his heart, and am I the cause of him not having another girlfriend in his life. And most of all, should I tell my future husband, what happened? What if he asks?
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.
You are definitely not allowed to mix with a marriageable man or socialize with him. It is apparent from your statement that you were too open with him to the extent of allowing him to kiss you and enjoy you which is a great sin. The honor and chastity of a Muslim woman are the most precious matters she owns in this life. For more details, please read to Fataawa: 81356 and 83058.
Know that the gate to repentance is wide-open for every person as long as he/she does not face the agony of death. So, you have to sincerely repent from this sin immediately. To know how to repent, please refer to Fataawa: 81467 and 83904.
Therefore, you have to end all your contacts with him immediately. Do not bother about what he is saying or thinking. It is even not advisable to marry him since he is not a religious man while the religiousness is the first and most important quality that is regarded in marrying someone. See our Fatwa: 87690.
However, if he sincerely repents and adheres to the teachings of Islam in his daily life, it is permissible to accept his proposal, but following your parents' advice is an obligation.
Lastly, you do not have to reveal your past sins to your future husband as we made clear in our Fatwa: 86058.
Allaah knows best.
Search Fatwa
Fatwa Subject
