I am a newly reverted woman, married to a Muslim man. Until recently our marriage seemed great. However recently it has been hard to keep together I am trying my best but I am not sure if he is. See I previously wrote to you Fatwa: 89856, and he does pray and read Quran etc. So I am trying, he finally agreed to have kids with me, however he says not right now cause he is supporting his family back home and can't afford to have children with me, I do want him to support them, I know how important it is and am all for it, but when I ask how long I have to wait to have children he says he's not sure, I am not sure if maybe he is just telling me this to make me happy and has no intention to fulfill my rights to have children, I have also seen him looking at lingerie catalogs and I know he is not looking to buy me anything since the ones he looks at don't carry my size. I also have found on the computer sites to personals. I am trying not to jump to conclusions but it is hard, I desperately need more advise. I am constantly worried, I want my marriage to work, I don't want a divorce, but I don't know how much more of this I can take. We also live in a house with his brother and a friend of his both male. He says so he can save up money to send home. The friend is ok, he treats me with respect but his brother doesn't, I try my best to do so with him but he makes rude comments such as my weight being to much (I may not be skinny, but I am not fat either, just average) etc. he makes me feel awful and he even does it in front of my husband and my husband never says anything. It seems I also have to beg for time alone with my husband, let alone intimacy, I mean he does give me my rights but I have to ask for them, and even then a lot of the time he refuses, excuse: to tired, to late. He doesn't come to bed till it is already "too late" so what should I do? When a husband calls his wife to bed unless she is on her menses she should not refuse, is it ok for a husband to refuse if the wife calls him to bed? I know one shouldn't talk in detail of ones private life especially the intimate parts and I hope I haven't crossed the line on the "details", but I really need advise, even the friend that lives with us who was at our wedding, is worried about our marriage. He can see there is a problem. Furthermore, if your answer is I should leave, I have no where else to go. No family I can stay with and I have been away from all my friends so long we have lost contact, the only other people I know are Muslim guys, and all friends of my husband. I don't even drive a car. Marriage situation almost desperate

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.

First of all, we confirm to you what we have mentioned in Fatwa: 89856 that a wife has the right to give birth to children and it is not permissible for her husband to prevent her from this right except with her permission. Moreover, it should be mentioned that it is an obligation for the husband to have sexual intercourse with his wife, and according to the most preponderant opinion of the scholars he is obliged to have sexual intercourse with her according to her need and his ability. Similarly, the wife is obliged to respond to his request if he calls her to bed and it is not permissible for her to refuse unless she will be harmed.

In this present Fatwa, we stress on the advice that we mentioned in the previous Fatwa that you should advise your husband with wisdom using good words. You should first seek the help of Allaah and then the help of righteous people whom you think could influence him, especially the callers to Islam who are running Islamic centres as one should first seek their advice in this issue, as they are more aware of the reality there and could sit with your husband and listen to his side, and then they could advise you as to the best steps and procedures for you to take.

We advise you to stay away from causes of affliction. It is not permissible for you to let your brother in-law or your husband's friend to enter your home in his absence, or to talk to them without a need, and it should be within what is permissible. Besides, your husband should not make it possible for them to have access to you [when he is absent] and he is obliged to forbid them from doing so. Furthermore, he should protect you from the harm of his brother.

If there are no separate amenities like toilets and the like to an extent that there is forbidden mixing between you and them, then it is not permissible for your husband to let them dwell in the house.

Finally, we advise you to refrain from thinking that your husband is going to marry another wife, because Allaah has permitted this, and this is just a means of the devil to make you sorrowful and miserable. [So you should not worry about this matter, try to be patient and convince your husband of your desire in having children].

Allaah Knows best.