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Fatwa CenterHer husband wants to divorce her for having a relationship with her class fellow
Question
AOA, me and my husband got married november 2009. soon after i started my studies(mbbs) and lived in separate country(pakistan) as my husband. i made a huge mistake that i got involved with a fellow classfellow over texts and phone. never physical. my husband found out and he forgave me many times. still i kept in relation to this other guy.he even gave me one divrce but i did not understand. i kept on my high horse . this last time i got caught he said he wants to divorce. i never realised the gravity of the situation which i do now. i am truly repenting. and i really want this marriage to work out but my husband has sent me home to my mother who lives in another country(norway). please help me. i made mistake and i realise iv asked for forgiveness from him and Allah. please tell me how i can persuade him to give me one last chance because i really want it to work out . i am truly and hounestly sorry for my actions. i have given him time and not contacted him he agrees that he knows we can eventually be happy but that there is alot of pressure upon him from his family. he happens to be my cousin as well. i truly do repent and seek forgiveness from Almighty Allah and my husband because i have done wrong . if given a chance i will make things better insAllah. he agrees that if we were to live together it would be ok and we would eventually be happy but that he cannot make the decision and that he has left it up to his mother and his sister and his brother to make the decision for him and that he will own their decision. I have tried persuading him into giving me one last chance because i truly understand and my eyes has opened. since he happens to be my cousin as well my uncles have talked to his and all he does is to throw the old dust on their face saying he doesnt wana keep me.
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.
First of all, we hope that this would be a lesson for you and others about the seriousness of violating the command of Allaah and that of His Messenger in regard to not following the whispers of the devil. Allaah Says (what means): {Satan threatens you with poverty and orders you to immorality, while Allaah promises you forgiveness from Him and bounty. And Allaah is all-Encompassing and Knowing.} [Quran 2:268]
However, your regret is not enough if it is for losing a worldly benefit; rather, you should turn it into a sincere repentance seeking the pleasure of Allaah. For details on the conditions of repentance, please refer to Fatwa 86527.
Also, for more benefit on the prohibition of relationships between the sexes outside marriage, please refer to Fatwa 81356.
The prohibition is even more confirmed when this act is done by a married woman like you, as this is a disobedience to Allaah and an act of being negligent of the rights of the husband. In any case, you are obliged to cut every relationship with that young man. Besides, you should supplicate Allaah earnestly so that He reconciles you and your husband.
As regards the statement of your husband that he wants to divorce you, then this is a promise of divorce and divorce does not take place by it. For more information, please refer to Fatwa 128655. Hence, if you become righteous and your conduct improves, and your husband wishes to keep you as his wife, then his family has no right to prevent him from this, and he is not obliged to obey his parents in this regard, let alone obeying other people. For more benefit on the ruling of obeying one’s parents in divorcing one's wife; please refer to Fatwa 84056.
In addition, you should continue to seek the help of people who can influence your husband and his family. If it is possible to convince them and the disagreement is solved, then this is good. However, if your husband insists on divorcing you, then you should submit your matter to Allaah and ask Him to bless you with a pious husband. But it should be noted that it is not permissible for you to marry another man until your current husband divorces you and your waiting period from him expires.
Finally, we advise you to seek beneficial knowledge, do righteous deeds, observe Hijab and keep company with righteous women while avoiding bad company and places of suspicion.
We ask Allaah to make us and you steadfast on His religion and we ask Him to make for you a way out of distress and difficulty, as He is able to do this and it is easy for Him.
Allaah Knows best.
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